April 30, 2008

 

The Ad Republicans Didn't Want You To See


Why? Because McCain's hunched-over look is creepier than Nixon's?


 

"a drama of race, values, patriotism and betrayal"


Enough. The mentality of reality television has completely taken over this election. The above quote is from the opening paragraph of today's The New York Times article on Obama and his ex-pastor. In a more intelligent universe, Obama's comments denouncing Rev. Wright (as well as his previous speech on racism) would be the end of the "controversy." But the press loves them some good "drama" so we'll be hearing about this "controversy" until the Democrats pick a winner.

Instead, as the same edition of The New York Times stated on it's editorial pages, we should be having "a serious, healthy and much-needed discussion on race." Not to mention serious discussions about the unwinnable war in Iraq, healthcare, education and the economy.

Ah, fuck it. Let's watch another episode of The Hills instead...

April 29, 2008

 

The Dems Are Dangerously Close To Making The Same Mistake They Made In 2004


Why do Dems always want to play it safe and go with what the so-called experts think is the "electable" choice:


April 27, 2008

 

Craig Ferguson Does the White House Correspondents Dinner


Two years after Colbert, it seems it's now okay to laugh at the Bush Administration. Craig starts out a little tame but unwinds by part two:







Well done Craig.

April 25, 2008

 

Media Lemmings


Well it looks like members of our esteemed media have bought into the Clinton theory/lie that Obama is unelectable in the general election because he has not been able to carry the big swing states like Ohio, Texas and Pennsylvania as well as solid blue states like New York and California. This theory is of course based on the dubious assumption that the people who voted for Clinton in those states will not vote for Obama in November.

Obama's "problem" apparently is that only kids and black people like him. Old white women and blue collar workers can't stand him because he sucks at bowling. This has led to the dreaded "McGovern" comparison:
Indeed, if you look at Obama's vote in Pennsylvania, you begin to see the outlines of the old George McGovern coalition that haunted the Democrats during the '70s and '80s, led by college students and minorities. In Pennsylvania, Obama did best in college towns (60 to 40 percent in Penn State's Centre County) and in heavily black areas like Philadelphia.

Its ideology is very liberal. Whereas in the first primaries and caucuses, Obama benefited from being seen as middle-of-the-road or even conservative, he is now receiving his strongest support from voters who see themselves as "very liberal." In Pennsylvania, he defeated Clinton among "very liberal" voters by 55 to 45 percent, but lost "somewhat conservative" voters by 53 to 47 percent and moderates by 60 to 40 percent. In Wisconsin and Virginia, by contrast, he had done best against Clinton among voters who saw themselves as moderate or somewhat conservative.

Obama even seems to be acquiring the religious profile of the old McGovern coalition. In the early primaries and caucuses, Obama did very well among the observant. In Maryland, he defeated Clinton among those who attended religious services weekly by 61 to 31 percent. By contrast, in Pennsylvania, he lost to Clinton among these voters by 58 to 42 percent and did best among voters who never attend religious services, winning them by 56 to 44 percent. There is nothing wrong with winning over voters who are very liberal and who never attend religious services; but if they begin to become Obama's most fervent base of support, he will have trouble (to say the least) in November.
There is only one problem with this theory: Actual votes. Obama has received well over 14 million votes during the 31 primaries held so far. John McCain received less than half as many votes over 29 primaries to capture the GOP nomination. And how many votes do you think George McGovern received in the Democratic primaries to snag the nomination? If you guessed 4,053,451 then you are faster than Google.

Obama has energized the Democratic Party and, as a result, record numbers of voters have been turning out to vote in the primaries. Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, has been sucking the air out of the Democratic Party, dragging the campaign into the mud and doing the Republicans' job for them. The country obviously wants a change so the November election is the Democrat's to lose. If the Clinton campaign continues to influence the media, yes, Obama's chances will diminish. So you have to ask the question, "Does Hillary Clinton care more about herself or her country?"

(image "courtesy" of carolynbaker.net)

April 24, 2008

 

"We've Got To Do Something"


If Russell Brand doesn't do this, who's gonna do it?


 

Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show


Exactly what you think it would be:


 

Old Bill vs. New Bill


via 23/6 News:

IMs

 

Radiohead Dedicate Song to "That Twat" on National TV


"That twat" would be George W. That song would be the lovely "House of Cards" which features a chorus that goes "denial, denial":


 

Maybe I Was Wrong


It looks like there is a mathematical possibility Hillary can still win this thing:


 

Everybody Sing!


"It's Our Ranch and It's Our Home!"



Truly disturbing. (h/t boingboing)

 

Why I Hate Hillary Clinton


Jon Stewart breaks it down:

Clinton: "If we had the same system as the Republicans, I'd already be the nominee."

Stewart: "So what it comes down to is, that you would win the nomination if Democrats were Republicans. That sounds like one tremendous 'if-you' to the process."
When Clinton, along with all of the other Democratic candidates, agreed to NOT count Michigan and Florida, she was the clear frontrunner. In fact, she declared on This Week with George Stephanopoulos that “It’ll be over by Feb. 5" (this, however, did not stop her from shamelessly campaigning in Florida after pledging not to). Now that things haven't quite gone the way she planned it (February 5th? If only...), Hillary finds herself in a mathematically impossible situation to snag the nomination without Florida and Michigan. She is suddenly desperate to change the rules and make the popular vote, not the delegate vote, determine the nominee (after all was said and done about Hillary's double-digit Pennsylvania win that was in reality 9.4%, Hillary only gained 9 delegates; she also, contrary to popular belief, lost Texas but she's such a sore loser that her campaign has actually contemplated taking legal action!).

Well, I'm sorry but you cannot change the rules to suit your needs. Period. But try telling that to a Clinton:
"I'm very proud that as of today, I have received more votes by the people who have voted than anybody else, and I am proud of that," Clinton said at a rally in Indianapolis. "It's a very close race, but if you count, as I count, the 2.3 million people who voted in Michigan and Florida, then we are going to build on that."
She wants to build on a pile of crap. That's why I hate her.

BTW: When I was a wee lad, my parents often told me that hate was a strong word. Admittedly, I often carelessly tossed it around. For instance, I once said I hated Art Fleming, the former host of TV's Jeopardy! Okay, so that was a stretch. But I'm older and wiser now so, trust me, I don't use the word lightly. People in power (especially those who work for us) are not above rules. They are not allowed to lie to us. Haven't we had enough of that shit for the last 7 years?

April 23, 2008

 

"Hard" News is Dangerous


Warning: Keep liquids away from your mouth while watching:



(via YesButNoButYes)

 

Congratulations Hillary!


In your mathematically impossible* attempt to (honestly) capture the Democratic nomination, you managed to get approximately 200,000 more people (out of approximately 2 million) to vote for you over Barack Obama (in a state where you led by more than twice as much a month ago), thus bringing you closer (in your mind, at least) to your dream of someday obliterating Iran. Let's take a look at what you actually accomplished:
• You won more delegates than Obama! As of this morning, you won 14 more delegates, 80 to 66, with 12 more still to be determined. In other words, you gained next to nothing in turns of delegate count. Money and time well spent!

• Apparently you got a huge infusion of cash as a result of your primary win. Great, so now you will be able to scare the good people of Indiana and North Carolina before the May 6th primaries. And, with a little luck, you may pull in enough cash to further smear your opponent thus saving the Republican party millions of dollars!

• You have managed to nearly obliterate the public perception of a (finally) unified Democratic Party. Remember when it seemed like there was a Democratic debate every other day and the nation got to see Democrats of all stripes agreeing on the most important issues of the day? The war in Iraq, healthcare, immigration, the economy, the overall failed policies of the Bush Administration. Now, people are not so sure about the Democratic candidates. Who has the better healthcare policy? Who is going to go nuclear on the Middle East? Who wears a flag pin? Who knows people who have said or done bad things? Who is awake at 3 a.m. in the morning?
I admit that your victory speech last night was one of your best (I mean speeches in general; you haven't been able to give too many victory speeches). But I was still troubled by the fact that you never seem to believe in what you are saying. Maybe because, as you've reminded us a gazillion times, speeches are just "words." However, you did appear simply giddy at the end of your speech when you mocked Obama's campaign of hope and stole his signature phrase of "Yes We Can":
"I believe with all my heart that together we will turn promises into action, words will become solutions, hope will become reality. So my answer to any who doubt is, 'Yes We Will!'"
Gosh, how clever. What a great way to try to not sound nasty while being completely nasty. If we were in high school, I definitely would vote for you for class president.

*For more on Hillary's impossible quest to snag the nomination, read Robert Creamer's excellent analysis over at The Huffington Post.

April 22, 2008

 

"Steve is Not Happy" as Charlie Rose Interviews Himself



Google. Google. Google.

Truly inspired.

 

Bill Clinton: Serial Liar


Bill Clinton, yesterday:
INTERVIEWER (RE: Clinton's comment comparing Barack Obama to Jesse Jackson after Obama won the South Carolina primary): “Do you think that was a mistake, and would you do that again?"

CLINTON: "No. I think that they played the race card on me. And we now know, from memos from the campaign and everything, that they planned to do it along.
Listen for yourself:



Bill Clinton, today:
NBC/NJ: “Sir, what did you mean yesterday when you said that the Obama campaign was playing the race card on you?”

CLINTON: “When did I say that, and to whom did I say that?”

NBC/NJ: “On WHYY radio yesterday”

CLINTON: “No, no, no. That’s not what I said. You always follow me around and play these little games, and I’m not going to play your games today. This is a day about election day. Go back and see what the question was, and what my answer was. You have mischaracterized it to get another cheap story to divert the American people from the real urgent issues before us, and I choose not to play your game today. Have a nice day.”

NBC/NJ: “Respectfully sir, though, you did say …”

CLINTON: “Have a nice day.”
See for yourself:



I don't know what's worse: The fact that he outright lied or that he used the "some of my best friend's are black" defense during the WHYY interview:
"...you have to really go some to play the race card on me. My office is in Harlem and Harlem voted for Hillary, by the way.* I have 1.4 Million people around the world, mostly people of color...on the world's least expensive AIDS drugs. I appointed more African American and Hispanic women and judges and U.S. attorneys than all previous presidents put together and had nine African American cabinet members."
And then, classy guy that he is, he finished the interview with a sarcastic laugh after the interviewer thanked him and then, probably thinking he was off the air, said, "I don't think I have to take any shit from anybody on that, do you?" (I'm not making that up. Listen to the entire interview).

*Um, and by the way Bill, the Harlem vote had quite a few irregularities:
Black voters are heavily represented in the 94th Election District in Harlem’s 70th Assembly District. Yet according to the unofficial results from the New York Democratic primary last week, not a single vote in the district was cast for Senator Barack Obama.

That anomaly was not unique. In fact, a review by The New York Times of the unofficial results reported on primary night found about 80 election districts among the city’s 6,106 where Mr. Obama supposedly did not receive even one vote, including cases where he ran a respectable race in a nearby district.

City election officials this week said that their formal review of the results, which will not be completed for weeks, had confirmed some major discrepancies between the vote totals reported publicly — and unofficially — on primary night and the actual tally on hundreds of voting machines across the city.

In the Harlem district, for instance, where the primary night returns suggested a 141 to 0 sweep by Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, the vote now stands at 261 to 136. In an even more heavily black district in Brooklyn — where the vote on primary night was recorded as 118 to 0 for Mrs. Clinton — she now barely leads, 118 to 116.
I tried to find out whether there have been any final tallies but that information does not seem to be available.

 

Why Is This Woman Laughing?*


Hillary thinks it is hi-larious that she met with and accepted the endorsement of Richard Mellon Scaife, the man who funded the Arkansas Project in order "to unearth damaging information about President Clinton."

Click the pick below for a video link:


Laugh


I wonder if she'll be laughing when she pushes the button to "obliterate" Iran:



*a nod to Esquire Magazine Nixon

 

NO DEAL


No Deal
Bush's disapproval rating worst of any president in 70 years
- Gallup Poll

April 21, 2008

 

You've Got To Be Kidding Me


Check out the latest Clinton scare tactic:



The narrator actually sounds excited about "two wars (!), oil prices sky-rocketing (!!) and an economy in crisis (!!!)"

I wonder what Bill Clinton would think of a spot like this. Hmmmn...



(h/t TPM Election Central)

 

Yep


Aren't you proud of our country?


TT
(Click for more Tom Tomorrow)

 

The Colbert Report Writers Hit It Out of the Park


...and John Edwards gives one helluva performance:



Clinton places third:



and Obama finishes second (hey, we all know Krup's in the tank for Obama):


April 18, 2008

 

R.I.P. Danny


From Bruce Springsteen's website:
Danny and I worked together for 40 years - he was the most wonderfully fluid keyboard player and a pure natural musician. I loved him very much...we grew up together."
—Bruce Springsteen

Danny Federici, for 40 years the E Street Band's organist and keyboard player, died this afternoon, April 17, 2008 at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City after a three year battle with melanoma.

The Federici family and the E Street family request that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Danny Federici Melanoma Fund. A web site for the Fund is being established and we'll post its link when it is on line.
Here's Danny on accordian back in '78 performing "4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy") with Bruce and the band:


April 17, 2008

 

"That's What You Gotta Do"


I love how Barack turns every potentially bad situation into an advantage:


 

This Should Be The Final Word


Despite ABC's somewhat blatant attempt to swing this election back toward Hillary Clinton with it's shameless* neglect of issues and it's obsession with Republican talking points and gossip, I'm hoping that voters in Pennsylvania are convinced that what follows is all they need to know to make an informed decision in next week's primary:



In other words: Hillary Clinton cannot be trusted.


*ABC screwed the pooch so badly that Charlie Gibson was actually heckled by the audience. Cue the Tim Robbins speech...

April 16, 2008

 

Obama & B-Ball


Great interview with Bryant Gumbel


 

Krup Hearts Tim Robbins




Actor Tim Robbins gave a speech (that he was advised not to give) Monday night at the National Association of Broadcasters show in Las Vegas. Here are some excerpts:
"I would like to start with an apology. To Rush and Sean, and Billo and Savage and Laura what's-her-name. A few years ago they told America that because I had different opinions on the wisdom of going to war that I was a traitor, a Saddam lover, a terrorist supporter, undermining the troops. I was appealing at the time for the inspectors to have more time to find those weapons of mass destruction. I was a naïve dupe of left wing appeasement. And how right they were. If I had known then what I know now, if I had seen the festive and appreciative faces on the streets of Baghdad today, if I had known then what a robust economy we would be in, the unity of our people, the wildfire of democracy that has spread across the Mideast, I would never have said those traitorous, unfounded and irresponsible things. I stand chastened in the face of the wisdom of the talk radio geniuses, and I apologize for standing in the way of freedom.

So when they asked me to come speak to you I said, "Are you sure? Me?" And they said, "Yes."

And I said, "You know, I have a tendency to say things that I believe at the time to be well-intentioned but that are actually traitorous." And they said, "Sure, cool." And then I read the press release and it said, "Mr. Robbins will be speaking about the challenges of new media and delivery systems." Oh, OK. But I just want you to know I'm not sure I know what that fucking means...

But what is the state of broadcasting today? Some critics have noted that there is a dangerous lack of diversity and opinion. That may be true, but imagine the nightmare of having to rectify that situation.

I propose a much simpler solution, which I've separated into three prongs, or a Satan's trident if you will.

First, erase all diversity. Thankfully the majority of what is broadcast over television and radio is of two opinions and that feels good. That's simple. But unfortunately there is a tiny minority out here on the airwaves expressing a different view outside of the Democrats and Republicans nexus trying to confuse us all. Can we please shut them up? How expensive could it be to buy Pacifica Radio? These people are driving us apart.

Secondly, let's stay focused on Sex Scandals. Stop with the in depth reporting that gets outside of the sound bite. More sex scandals! Surely with a little more prying, a little more effort we can find more sexual deviants. And trust me, sexual deviancy is something we can all agree on. It's deliciously intoxicating to watch unfold. It's titillating...

Third, find more racially divisive news and play that constantly. As long as we hate each other we will never be bothered with this gnawing lefty obsession with information. Let's make the purpose of the media salacious entertainment, not information. The more our news outlets and talk radio can distract us the better. We love distraction. When the nattering nabobs of negativity tell you that the economy is falling apart, that gas costs four dollars a gallon, that they are foreclosing on your home, that there is chaos in Iraq, when these propagandists spread this "information" it is our moral responsibility to distract. I don't know about you but show me a starlet without panties getting out of a car and suddenly the world seems like a better place. Show me Knight Rider drunk on the floor eating a hamburger, and I won't ask why my kid has no health insurance...

Now some of you are concerned with that unrelenting pesky competition. You know, the new technologies; the Internets and satellite radio and television. The problem is there are too many people in this country that take the notion of creativity and invention too damn seriously. Just when one technology is centralized, conglomerated, monopolized, along come new technologies and delivery systems to threaten the good work born of deregulation. Just when we were getting close to a national playlist for our music, satellite technology is threatening to provide music that people actually want to hear. Just when we were close to a national news media, providing a general consensus on what the truth is, along comes the Internets that allow its users a choice on the kinds of news it watches. And the You Tube. My God we've got to stop them. Recently when we were about to enjoy our great national pastime of 'tearing apart a presidential candidate with relentless repetition of ugly things his friend said', You Tube provided the candidates reasoned response and millions watched and responded positively.

Well you here at NAB have the power to stop this dangerous technology. The question is, how? I respectfully suggest that you do what others have done when facing the competition of new technologies. Get compromising information on your enemy and expose them in a sex scandal. Or call them a racist, or better yet a traitor. That not only undermines your competitor, but provides the public with fantastic entertainment.

Of course you can do that. And no one in this current world would fault you for it. It is, after all, where we stand today. In all seriousness folks, let's face it. We are at an abyss as a country and as an industry. And I know that saying we are at an abyss isn't the stuff of keynote addresses but all sarcasm and irony and rude pithiness aside, we are at a critical juncture in this nation's history. This is a nation divided and reeling from betrayal and economic hardships. And you, the broadcasters of this great nation have a tremendous power, and a tremendous potential to effect change. You have the power to turn this country away from cynicism. You have the power to turn this nation away from the hatred and the divisive dialogue that has rendered such a corrosive affect on our body politic. You can lift us up into a more enlightened age..."
So, how do you think this speech went over? You can listen to it in it's hi-larious NSFW entirety here.

 

59-Year-Old Bruce Springsteen is Obviously Too Young to Understand All of This Complicated Political Stuff


"Savvy" Bill Clinton on the campaign trail for his wife:
"I think there is a big reason there's an age difference in a lot of these polls," he said. "Because once you've reached a certain age, you won't sit there and listen to somebody tell you there's really no difference between what happened in the Bush years and the Clinton years; that there's not much difference in how small-town Pennsylvania fared when I was president, and in this decade....So I think it's important that we get to the truth of this."
Oh yeah, Bill? Tell it to The Boss:
Dear Friends and Fans:

LIke most of you, I've been following the campaign and I have now seen and heard enough to know where I stand. Senator Obama, in my view, is head and shoulders above the rest.

He has the depth, the reflectiveness, and the resilience to be our next President. He speaks to the America I've envisioned in my music for the past 35 years, a generous nation with a citizenry willing to tackle nuanced and complex problems, a country that's interested in its collective destiny and in the potential of its gathered spirit. A place where "...nobody crowds you, and nobody goes it alone."

At the moment, critics have tried to diminish Senator Obama through the exaggeration of certain of his comments and relationships. While these matters are worthy of some discussion, they have been ripped out of the context and fabric of the man's life and vision, so well described in his excellent book, Dreams of My Father, often in order to distract us from discussing the real issues: war and peace, the fight for economic and racial justice, reaffirming our Constitution, and the protection and enhancement of our environment.

After the terrible damage done over the past eight years, a great American reclamation project needs to be undertaken. I believe that Senator Obama is the best candidate to lead that project and to lead us into the 21st Century with a renewed sense of moral purpose and of ourselves as Americans.

Over here on E Street, we're proud to support Obama for President.
Bruce
Good job Bill: Way to alienate the 18-59 year-old vote...

 

Finally...


...a movie that accurately portrays the insanity of post-9/11 America:


Security
(Click to watch)

 

And Speaking of Insanity:




Can we throw all six in jail?

War Criminals

April 15, 2008

 

Dig That Crazy Elitist Jazz Music!




The nerve of that Obama! Daring to use facts and actual soundbites in his campaign ads instead of "real" Pennsylvanians to talk smack about the opposition and lie about their candidate (see Clinton ad, two posts below).

 

9:26 of Daily Show Goodness


And by "good" I mean "elite" (1a singular or plural in construction : the choice part: CREAM - the elite of the entertainment world> b singular or plural in construction : the best of a class - superachievers who dominate the computer elite — Marilyn Chase> c singular or plural in construction: the socially superior part of society - how the elite live — A P World how the French-speaking elite…was changing — Economist - d: a group of persons who by virtue of position or education exercise much power or influence - members of the ruling elite - the intellectual elites of the country e: a member of such an elite —usually used in plural - the elites …, pursuing their studies in Europe — Robert Wernick>):


 

"Hillary Clinton Has Been Fighting For People Like Us Her Whole Life"


So says the woman at the end of this Republican attack Clinton campaign ad:



Oh Really? You mean she was fighting for people like you during her six years on the board of Wal-Mart?
"...the board Hillary Clinton sat on was rabidly anti-union, was exploiting sweatshop labor around the world, discriminating against women workers, forcing workers to labor off the clock and destroying communities that did not want them. This should not be a shock: Clinton was a partner in the Rose law firm, one of the most active anti-union law firms in the country."
Hillary Clinton: The non-elitist hunter of the working people.

April 13, 2008

 

Is There Anything Hillary Won't Say To Get Elected?


Look, Barack Obama said a true thing, inelegantly (yes it happens, even to Barack):



If it had been Hillary, she would have said she "misspoke" (or had her husband tell the lie for her. Obama, on the other hand, grabbed the bull by the horn rather than dodge it and elegantly put his comments about Guns, God & Gays into the proper context:



Since the Clinton campaign truly has nothing to offer these days except attacks on Obama, Hillary has now pounced on this opportunity to let America know that she's more American than a certain other Democratic candidate who might not be as American as she is:



Shameless. But apparently not shameless enough. Now she's telling her fellow Americans how much she enjoyed killing ducks when she was a little girl:
"You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught be how to shoot when I was a little girl," she said.

"You know, some people now continue to teach their children and their grandchildren. It's part of culture. It's part of a way of life. People enjoy hunting and shooting because it's an important part of who they are. Not because they are bitter."
Right Hillary. We "believe" you. You probably know so much about guns I bet you could have defended yourself during that horrible sniper attack in Bosnia.

And way to completely twist and distort what Barack said. But who the hell needs facts when there's a race she just has to win (you know, because she has "so many opportunities from this country”).

April 10, 2008

 

After a long, frustrating day...


(waiting for a Time/Warner "technician" to fix both our phone and internet service only to have his "dispatcher" call my cell phone to let me know his "technician" was on the way but for some reason have his call go directly to my voicemail and for no reason (that I can think of) NOT leave his number and extension where I could call him to let him know that I was, indeed, home...to then desperately try to reach SOMEONE/ANYONE from Time/Warner Customer "Support" to track down either the "dispatcher" or "technician" and let them know I was home...to be left on hold for 10 minutes...to go to my front window and see the Time/Warner "technician" DRIVE AWAY without even bothering to buzz my apartment...to then scream my lungs off at the Customer "Support" person to get that "technician" to turn the fuck around...and to ultimately end up with a "Sorry, but you were told you needed to be home and we're going to have to charge you $30 bucks for the missed appointment" and still end up without internet or working phone service but told someone could come back tomorrow so I could waste another day)

...nothing soothes the savage beast like an evening out at Shea with friends, multiple beers, a dog, fries, a win against the Sillies and a close up view of the best mascot in sports, Mr. Met:

Mr Met

Thank you GL for the great seats and the perfect cure for my ready-to-explode head...

April 08, 2008

 

1-88-HOPELESS



Hopeless
(Click to watch)

You know, this clip would be really funny if not for the fact that this idiot is responsible for screwing up our entire country.

(Video "courtesy" of onegoodmove.)

April 07, 2008

 

Heartfelt Thanks...


...to everyone who sent cards, e-mailed, called and left comments below. Your words have meant a great deal to us.

April 02, 2008

 

Toast: 1996-2008


The Pupper

The Princess

What can I say?

Although I had a couple of dogs growing up -- a beagle named Snoopy (how original) and a West Highland White named, um, Bella -- they never really felt like they were my dogs. Perhaps this was because I was too young to truly be involved in their care and feeding. Or maybe because I had nothing to do with choosing them to be a part of our family (I was still grateful, believe me).

With Toast I learned what it was like to truly bond with a dog for the first time in my life. We got her when she was only six weeks old -- she was a second anniversary gift to my wife and she makes a great case for buying gifts that can be shared. We had our choice between four females but we both knew right away that Toast was the one. Still, we went through the motions of giving her and the other pups the Puppy Aptitude Test, just to make sure. And, of course, we cheated. I think we gave her a 5 for "Restraint" (no struggle) when she was more like a 2 or a 3 (some struggling). That should have been our first clue that Toast would be a feisty and sometimes hard to manage puppy (our second clue should have been the fact that Toast's father was not allowed inside the house and instead ran and barked like a madman inside a chain-linked fence; our third clue should have been that the breeder's nieces and nephews had named her "Rockelle" because she liked to eat rocks).

So, having fudged the results, we took Toast to what would become her weekend home by the shore (it was close to the breeder's house). As you can see by the first picture above, our yard is all rocks. Man we really thought that one out. After awhile, she gave up on the rocks and found even better prey: crab shells discarded by seagulls. She became quite obsessed with crab to the point where we ultimately dubbed our yard "Crab-land." This would be just one of her many obsessions throughout her (I'd like to think) extremely happy life.

B&W

Her second home was Hell's Kitchen New York where she discovered her next obsession: Rottweilers. She became best friends with the giant Rottweiler in our building as well as a brother and sister team who lived in the neighborhood. It was quite a sight to see her play hard with the brother and sister who would pin her to the ground and bear those great, big teeth. We knew it was just play. Strangers passing by would get completely freaked out. She also was good friends with a Pit Bull. She had no time for fluffy dogs.

During the first year, Toast also developed a fondness/obsession for catching and chasing tennis balls. She was a natural Retriever and could chase and bring back a ball until the cows came home. We were fortunate to have an enclosed handball court across the street from us, perfect for games of fetch in the city. At our weekend home, Toast more or less forced us to keep the back, sliding door open, no matter the temperature. There, with the open door between her on our deck and my wife and I in the living room, Toast would wait for us to throw her ball after she ceremoniously dropped it by our feet and ran back out to the deck. This she never tired of and continued to play this game for 12 years.

Patience

After she turned one, we moved downtown to NoHo and Toast underwent a significant change. She no longer cared about other dogs. Maybe she missed her friends and thought they never could be replaced or maybe she was pissed that we moved her (she actually used to try to get me to walk her in a Northwesterly direction toward our old 'hood). But fortunately she found another obsession: People. Her personality was magnetic and she was such a beauty that she had no problem attracting admirers. I remember when she was still a puppy I once was carrying her through Bryant Park (she hadn't had all of her shots yet) and people were literally running across the park begging me to let them pet her.

in heaven

Thanks to Toast's good looks and sparkling personality, my wife and I became friends with a number of other dog owners in our neighborhood (certainly it wasn't my looks or personality that started the friendships; it was either Toast or my wonderful wife). I honestly think that we might have walked around our new neighborhood for years without meeting anyone if it weren't for "the Pupper." New Yorkers have a tendency to look down while they are walking. Toast virtually guaranteed contact with strangers.

Our new 'hood also was cause for yet another obsession: Napkins and half-eaten bagels, hot dog buns, etc. One stretch on Bowery had so much sidewalk trash that my wife dubbed it "The Food Court." Had Toast been a "5" instead of a "2" or "3" we probably would have avoided a number of upset stomach incidents (trust me, you'll know you love your dog when you get up at 3 a.m. to walk her in order to avoid an indoor accident). Unfortunately, we learned that nothing could come between Toast and food. Here she is with one of her favorites:

PB & Toast

Yep, Peanut Butter and Toast.

I also mentioned she liked napkins. She was not a finicky eater, so when there were no napkins to be found, any kind of paper would do:

Basket

We came home to that one night. We'll never know how she managed to get the basket on the bed, let alone get it to stand upright.

Strangely, for a Golden, it took her awhile to fall in love with water...

Ocean

but once she did, you guessed it: Obsession.

Bay

Pool

Wading

Her love of water, especially the bay or ocean, led to two more great obsessions: Her flexi-Frisbee and her patented two-paw digging:

Frisbee

Digging

Oh hell, one more obsession: Red Dot. This was the name we gave to Toast's laser pointer. When we first got it, Toast would literally chase it across a room, up a wall, wherever.

Red Dot

We were so amused by Toast's passion for this inanimate (yet lively) red dot (I suppose she thought it was real?), that we would bring it out whenever we had a guest at our apartment. After a few months, Toast would automatically go to where we stored the laser pointer and start barking whenever we had visitors. Dogs are definitely creatures of habit.

Sadly, Toast was diagnosed with Lymphoma a few months ago. We did everything we could to treat the cancer but in the end it was too much for the girl. Words cannot express our sadness.

Her brother Wahoo seems a little disoriented and needy but he's a good boy and I think he'll adjust. Since we adopted him when he was two (and Toast was four), he has never been without her for more than an hour or so (until she got sick and spent five days in the hospital and miraculously, for a short period of time, recovered).

Wahoo was never one of Toast's obsessions. She made it clear from day one that there was room for only one Alpha dog in our household. Wahoo, ever the gentleman, ceded this position to her although he easily could have dominated her. However, they were a team, partners in crime, especially when it came to barking at the seagulls to get the hell off of their dock or barking "hello" to every, single boat that ever passed by our weekend house.

T & W

If you knew Toast, you know how special she was and how much she meant to us, our families and our friends. She will be greatly missed.


The Girl
(Click to watch Toast & her brother Wahoo in action)

April 01, 2008

 

"If Only That's How President's Were Ranked"


Jon Stewart on Bush's first pitch on Opening Day at the Washington Nationals' new stadium:



Fortunately, we don't pick presidents based on their athletic abilities. Or do we?



I'd love to see that wanker Joe Scarborough go one-on-one with Obama:





Not to be racist or anything, but it kind of makes sense that if White Men Can't Jump then Black Men Can't Bowl.

 

Wal-Mart's America


Read this. It will make your blood boil. Don't like to read? Try this:



UPDATE: Wal-Mart backs down.

 

Hillary Clinton Tells The Truth!




Sorry. April Fools. We aren't living in Bizarro World so instead it's another day, another whopper from the Clinton campaign:
"My take on it is a lot of Senator Obama's supporters want to end this race because they don't want people to keep voting," (Clinton) told CBS affiliate KTVQ in Billings, Mont. "That's just the opposite of what I believe. We want people to vote. I want the people of Montana to vote, don't you?"

(snip)

Responding to Clinton, Obama spokesman Bill Burton said: "That is completely laughable from a campaign that thought the race would be over on February 5. We have encouraged our supporters to do no such thing and Senator Obama was very clear he supports her carrying on in this race."
True, some Obama supporters want Hillary to drop out of the race, but not because they don't want people to vote but because Clinton cannot possibly (honestly) overtake Obama's lead in both the popular vote and delegate votes. And they correctly believe that the longer Clinton stays in the race, the greater the damage to the Democrat's chances in November. But that's not the really big Clinton lie from this interview. Check this out:
Obama has been picking up superdelegates at a rapid clip while Clinton's success with that group has slowed considerably.

"I don't even keep track of it, I can't even tell you that figure," Clinton said when asked by Pittsburgh CBS affiliate KDKA how many superdelegates had endorsed her in recent weeks.
And if you believe that, you'll also believe Hillary was under sniper attack in Bosnia and brought peace to Ireland...

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