March 31, 2007

 

A Little Song for Bill Donohue



Stewart
(Click "My Sweet Lord" to listen to Tom Wait's
"Chocolate Jesus" from Mule Variations)


Picture courtesy of the artist, Cosimo Cavallaro. Controversy courtesy of Bill Donohue, head of The Catholic League, who called this "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever." I think it's right up there with Peeps, 'cause nothing says "I am the Resurrection" quite like a tiny, yellow marshmallow bird. Or I suppose you could go for the "I am the Resurrection" jigsaw puzzle.

Update: Click below to watch Bill Donohue "debate" Cosimo Cavallaro:

Cooper

March 30, 2007

 

Here's More Cute I Can Get Behind:



 

"Yeah, you've...got that something..."



"I think you'll understand.
When I...feel that something
I want to hold your hand."

Ridulously cute. Normally I hate cute. But sometimes you've just gotta give in to it.

 

This Routine Should Go Over Well in Prison



March 27, 2007

 

Katie Couric is an Asshole




And her ratings suck.

 

"Fire" in a Freight Elevator



#41 - Arcade Fire - Neon Bible & Wake Up
Uploaded by lablogotheque


Great short film of Arcade Fire performing Neon Bible in a freight elevator followed by a performance of Wake Up in the middle of a concert audience.

 

McCain Gets Punk'd


Actual screen grab from John McCain's My Space page:


McCain Space
(Click the straight-talker for the full story)

Don't mess with Mike D...

 

The Evolution of the Homer-Sapien



Homer-Sapien


(Video "courtesy" of onegoodmove.)

March 24, 2007

 

Viacom vs. YouTube




Featuring the wonderful Demetri Martin.

March 22, 2007

 

A Class Act



Sadly, Elizabeth Edwards' cancer is back. But she's still all for an Edwards' presidency:
“Both of us are committed to the cause and we’re committed to changing this country that we love so much and we have no intention of cowering in the corner,” Mr. Edwards said...

Mrs. Edwards said she had the energy to continue the campaign. “I am absolutely ready for that,” she said.
Best wishes to Elizabeth.

 

The Existential Bloody Film Shoot


Two clips featuring Lily Tomlin and Director David O. Russell screaming at each other during the making of "I Heart Huckabees" have surfaced on the internets. They are absolutely staggering (not to mention NSFW):


Huckabees 2
(Click to watch)


Huckabees
(Click to watch)

Watch 'em while you can (they've already been taken down over at YouTube).
UPDATE: Well, they've also been taken down on Daily Motion. Fortunately, reader Steve (see comments) found them on Film Threat and, just in case Film Threat is threatened, I nicked them (see above).

Somebody obviously does not want us to watch these clips (I'm guessing Tomlin or Russell) but the damage is already done. And what's the damage, really? Will we all stop going to Lily Tomlin or David O. Russell movies? The average filmgoer only cares about the work. If they continue to make subpar movies, I imagine they will lose their audiences. If they continue to make movies like Flirting with Disaster (see below), then nobody will give a shit.


I just wanted to add that Russell is one of my favorite filmmakers. Although Huckabees was a noble failure, Spanking the Monkey, Three Kings and especially Flirting with Disaster are all must-sees (and Tomlin is fantastic in it). I guess sometimes a little anger can help fuel the creative juices.

 

"Buckle on your balls like men"


Stephen Colbert issues a challenge to the Democratic Party:


 

Republicans are Children


...and therefore must be handled like children. Watch as Sen. Barbara Boxer, during Al Gore's appearance on Capitol Hill to talk about Global Warming, is forced to treat Sen. James Inhofe like the small, petulant child that he obviously is:


Boxer
(Click to watch)

Video courtesy of onegoodmove and Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

 

R.I.P. Calvert


Calvert DeForest (aka Larry "Bud" Melman) has passed on. Here's Calvert at his finest:


March 21, 2007

 
spring

 

President Toast*


Tricky Bush
(Click to watch President Nixon Bush Lose His Shit)


*with apologies to our wonderful dog Toast Toast

March 20, 2007

 

Operation First Casualty


Iraq Veterans Against the War staged a little guerrilla theater down in D.C.:


Vets
(Click to watch)

"The first casualty of war is truth."

 

Keep Internet Radio Alive

"As a fan of Internet radio, I was alarmed to learn that music royalty rates were recently determined by the Copyright Royalty Board (CRB) which, if enacted, would certainly silence most or all of my favorite online listening services. (For most webcasters, this new royalty rate represents more than 100% of their total revenues!)

The closure of these Internet radio stations would be a loss for not only independent business owners, but also for musical artists, for copyright owners, and for listeners like me who enjoy the wide variety of choices available via Internet radio."
Sign the petition.

 

Iraq Veterans Memorial




For more information, go here.

March 19, 2007

 

Peter O'Toole Rocks the Hall of Fame


Krup slogged through all four hours of the 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony (so you didn't have to) and he, I mean I am sad to report that I can whittle it down to a few measly highlights, one of which was taped in 2004.

First up, we've got Keith Richards (channeling Johnny Depp channeling the not-quite-dead-yet Peter O'Toole) inducting The Ronettes into the 'Fame:


Keef
(Click to watch)

Next, we've got that sweet little girl from Pitman, New Jersey, Patti (Tricia) Smith, with a great story about her and her late husband, Fred "Sonic" Smith, and an even better story about her Mom followed by a blistering performance of "Rock N Roll Nigger":


Patti
(Click to watch)

I wasn't crazy about R.E.M.'s performance, especially "Man on the Moon" with Eddie Vedder -- Stipe and Eddie simply don't blend well (although Eddie's induction speech for the band was pretty funny, albeit WAY too long). However, it was great to see Bill Berry pounding away on the drums again and "Gardening at Night" is one of my all-time favorite R.E.M. songs, so here goes:


R.E.M.
(Click to watch)

I just couldn't bring myself to include the final "All-Star" jam of Smith's "People Have the Power" -- it was just way too embarrassing for words, what with Sammy Hagar getting to sing a couple of verses and that fat fuck Stephen Stills playing a remarkably bad guitar solo. No, wait, on second thought, I have to show you just a little of it. Michael Stipe staring at Sammy Hagar expresses what I couldn't put into words:


Sammy
(Click to watch)

Finally, here's what I thought was the hands-down musical highlight of the evening: Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne and Prince performing "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" from George Harrison's posthumous induction into the Hall of Fame in 2004. The expression on George's son Dhani's face while watching Prince (in the red hat) perform says it all:


Prince
(Click to watch)

I do want to say it was good to see Grandmaster Flash get inducted into the Hall -- the first ever rap act to get inducted -- but I wasn't crazy about the performance so he doesn't get a highlight clip (I would've preferred a little more "wheels of steel").

Now the question remains: Is this bloated, black tie affair still valid? Was it ever? Ah, it doesn't matter: Jann Wenner's ego will keep this thing alive for as long as it takes. And, if we're lucky, we'll get at least 10 minutes of decent televised music out of the deal each year. Next year, I'm hoping for a little Dave Clark Five...

 

"The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Mongering Itself"




The worst president ever asks the American people for more patience with his failed war in Iraq, 'cause, you know, he obviously knows better than we do. And besides, if we cut and run, America is going to be hurt by the evil-doers:





"It can be tempting to look at the challenges in Iraq and conclude our best option is to pack up and go home," he said. "That may be satisfying in the short run. But I believe the consequences for America's security would be devastating."
To quote SCTV's Count Floyd, "That was scary boys and girls!"

 

Ricky Gervais Travels to Africa




To donate to Comic Relief, go here.

March 17, 2007

 

Unbelievable


Q:Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Sen. John McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.”

More at AmericaBlog.

March 16, 2007

 

Pity the Poor, Castrated Wingnuts


My how this woman scares them:


Plame
(Click to watch Valerie Plame's testimony
in which she states that she was, indeed,
a COVERT agent
)


Sad, pathetic men like Dan Riehl are so threatened that they have to resort to feminizing Valerie Plame's husband:
"When I first saw that Valerie Plame felt she was "recklessly abused," I wasn't sure if the media whore was talking about some DC john who copped her number from Vanity Fair and didn't leave a tip, or if she was referring to treatment at the hands of husband Joe Wilson. I mean, there's a guy with I want to be a woman so bad, I'm going to beat the crap out of one written all over him, if you ask me."
Oh, you tiny, tiny man Dan.

P.S. - Gotta love the woman in the back of the hearings with the "Impeach Bush Now" shirt.

UPDATE: NBC led off last night's evening news with this story followed by AlbertoGate. CBS led with Gonzales followed by Plame. ABC? They led off with the weather. Look, if you live in an area that was hit by snow, I think by 6:30 pm you'd know it and you'd know how bad it was. Peter Jennings is currently whirling in his grave.

Oh, and that communist rag, The New York Times? Plame made it to page 11. Apparently, that front page story on the difficulties of teaching middle school was way more important than questions of national security and skulduggery in the White House.

 

D.I.Y. Dark Side of the Moon


Our old pal Chris T. over at WFMU's Beware of the Blog has posted some nifty Pink Floyd sound files so people like me with too much free time can make their own sides of darkness.

Here's my attempt:

Floyd7
(Click whichever one you think is Pink to listen to it)

 

Appetite for Percussion


boingboing has been featuring some amazing human beatboxers lately. So far, this guy is my favorite:



For more, go here.

March 15, 2007

 

Why Did Jack White Do This?




Oh, right: Money...or perhaps he was being ironic...but it probably was the ginormous wad of cash.

(h/t to WFMU's Beware of the Blog. Be sure to send them some love by donating above.)

 

Quote of the Decade



Chris Rock on America being ready for a Barack Obama presidency:
"It's ready for a retarded president, why wouldn't it be ready for an African American president?"

 

Pleasuring the President




Oh well. So much for "government for the people, by the people."

 

Dad's Gonna Kill Me




The legendary singer-songwriter and brilliant guitarist, Richard Thompson, takes on the Iraq War:
"Out in the desert there's a soldier lying dead, vultures pecking the eyes out of his head, another day that could have been me there instead, nobody loves me here, nobody loves me here, Dad's gonna kill me."
For more about Richard and the song, go here. To download the song, go here (it won't be available for free after today).

March 14, 2007

 

Wow, George W. Really Got a Warm Welcome in Brazil


bush effigy

adolph bush

More at It's Knuttz.

 

It's Arcade Fire's World (We Just Live In It)


Here's Arcade Fire's SNL appearances (sorry for the belated posting and the chitty quality -- I promise to repost better versions after the episode is repeated):


Intervention
(Click to watch "Intervention")


Keep the Car Running
(Click to watch "Keep the Car Running")

Bonus performance:

Bowie/Arcade
(Click to watch "Wake Up" with David Bowie)

 

This is SO Wrong


But I'm posting it anyway if for no other reason than the fact that it contains "Feline Disrespect From Behind":


(It's only really dirty if you want it to be, you sick mofos)

Hat tip to PopLicks

 

Attention Mets Fans!


Sr. Met

I recently discovered a new blog, by way of the increasingly cranky, not to mention inaccurate* James Wolcott. It's called The Ballclub and it deals with all things Mets. It's written by two guys, El Guapo, who describes himself as "a baseball fan (who is) big on defense, athleticism, and Christianity" (he's kidding about one of those) and a guy who calls himself Mets2Moon (I don't think that's his real name).

I have a feeling this blog is going to help me get through a possibly frustrating season -- sure we have a great lineup but we're falling a bit short when it comes to starting pitchers. Here's how New York Magazine's Approval Matrix recently summed up the Mets' starting rotation:

approval matrix


So, I'm looking forward to El Guapo's and Mets2Moon's keen insight and snark to help me over the difficult days, weeks and months ahead. With blog headlines like Duaner Sanchez, You're Officially Harshing My Mellow I don't see how they can fail.

UPDATE: Also be sure to check out The Eddie Kranepool Society. It's proprietor, Steve Keane, feels your Mets' pain -- well, at least he feels Valentin's, El Duque's and "Grandpa" Franco's pain:
So now ‘Stache has a sore neck. Can the Skill Sets go down to Wal-Mart or Bed Bath and Beyond and buy these guys some decent pillows? What the fuck! First Delgado, now ‘Stache then El Duque with arthritis in his neck, then Grandpa Franco has to get a cortisone shot due to tendinitis. This is what happens when you bring in a lot of old guys. Old guys get hurt and it takes them a lot longer to recuperate. I know, I’m an old guy and after throwing about 170 pitches to my Little League team I come home and swallow Tylenol Arthritis caplets like they’re M & M’s.
Hang in there Steve. It's a long season.


*Catherine O'Hara did not wear a "fright mask" in For Your Consideration, she did it with some makeup and her amazing facial muscles, Mr. Cranky-Pants.

March 13, 2007

 

All You Really Need to Know About "America's Mayor"


Forget the adultery:
"By now, the average American voter knows that (Rudy) Giuliani offered important and comforting words to the nation on 9/11, filling a Bush-Cheney leadership vacuum. But voters may not know that he is not universally beloved by the real, rank-and-file first responders of 9/11, and that survivors and family members harbor bitter, lasting resentments. The public may also be unaware that Giuliani's preparation for and management of the crisis that has come to define his career, and on which his presidential ambitions rest, has actually become a case study for emergency management experts of what not to do. In fact, rather than representing his strongest qualification for the White House, his actions on 9/11 could be a political liability."
(from Salon)

March 12, 2007

 

How to Connect with Your Audience


Arcade Fire treats a London audience to a bonus encore of "Wake Up" that I'm sure they'll never forget:



Believe the hype. Get their new album, free, here.

 

Bart's Nightmare


 

Conservative Jones


jones
(Click comic for more This Modern World hi-larity)

March 09, 2007

 

Newt Gingrich Has Is a Ginormous Penis



Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.

"The honest answer is yes," Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to be aired Friday, according to a transcript provided to The Associated Press. "There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards."

Gingrich argued in the interview, however, that he should not be viewed as a hypocrite for pursuing Clinton's infidelity.

"The president of the United States got in trouble for committing a felony in front of a sitting federal judge," the former Georgia congressman said of Clinton's 1998 House impeachment on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. "I drew a line in my mind that said, 'Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept ... perjury in your highest officials."

(snip)

Gingrich, who frequently campaigned on family values issues, divorced his second wife, Marianne, in 2000 after his attorneys acknowledged Gingrich's relationship with his current wife, Callista Bisek, a former congressional aide more than 20 years younger than he is.

His first marriage, to his former high school geometry teacher, Jackie Battley, ended in divorce in 1981. Although Gingrich has said he doesn't remember it, Battley has said Gingrich discussed divorce terms with her while she was recuperating in the hospital from cancer surgery.

Gingrich married Marianne months after the divorce.

"There were times when I was praying and when I felt I was doing things that were wrong. But I was still doing them," he said in the interview. "I look back on those as periods of weakness and periods that I'm ... not proud of."

Gingrich's congressional career ended in 1998 when he abruptly resigned from Congress after poor showings from Republicans in elections and after being reprimanded by the House ethics panel over charges that he used tax-exempt funding to advance his political goals.

March 08, 2007

 

The Children Are Our Future


Lady
(Click to watch Lady Sovereign's "Those Were The Days")

I dare you not to be charmed.

 

Hairy Potter


Daniel

What? Too much information?!?

 

Why Dick Cheney's Blood Clot Should Be Treated At Walter Reed


I'm sure you all know about the M*E*S*S down at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center:



But did you know this scandal is connected, of course, to Dick Cheney?



That's right, the guy in charge of the privatized Walter Reed hospital, is a former executive of KBR, a subsidiary of HALIBURTON. What Jon and John neglected to mention was that besides being unable to deliver ice to Louisiana during the Katrina crisis, KBR was also the company in charge of providing water to our troops in Iraq. Unfortunately, the water KBR supplied contained raw sewage!

This, the latest scandal of the Bush Administration (oh god, there's been too many to count), will of course get the usual lip service from our Dear Leader. And, of course, he'll refuse to take any responsibility:



But now that Dick Cheney's days are numbered, what with his declining health and the fact that his Chief of Staff, Scooter Libby has been found guilty, guilty, guilty and guilty, perhaps George can escape blame for all of his past crimes and pin it all on Cheney, forcing him to resign in shame. Cheney would immediately be pardoned but it would be sweet to pour some salt on Dick's clot and require him to seek treatment at Walter Reed. Unfortunately, Dick did his damnedest to avoid serving in the military so he's ineligible to receive treatment there. Oh well, a blogger can dream...

March 07, 2007

 

Andrew Sullivan, Wanker, Sees the Light



"Something is rotten in the heart of Washington; and it lies in the vice-president's office. The salience of this case is obvious. What it is really about - what it has always been about - is whether this administration deliberately misled the American people about WMD intelligence before the war. The risks Cheney took to attack Wilson, the insane over-reaction that otherwise very smart men in this administration engaged in to rebut a relatively trivial issue: all this strongly implies the fact they were terrified that the full details of their pre-war WMD knowledge would come out. Fitzgerald could smell this. He was right to pursue it, and to prove that a brilliant, intelligent, sane man like Libby would risk jail to protect his bosses. What was he really trying to hide? We now need a Congressional investigation to find out more, to subpoena Cheney and, if he won't cooperate, consider impeaching him.
I guess he finally got rid of whatever was in his butt.

 

Oh Snap!



Some conservative bloggers have sent a letter to CPAC, asking them to never invite Ann Coulter to their little hate fest ever again. Here's my favorite part:
"Ann Coulter used to serve the movement well. She was telegenic, intelligent, and witty."
How quickly they turn...

March 05, 2007

 

Chipmunkification


TV Funhouse brilliance (in case you missed it the first time around):


President Chipmunk
(Click to watch)

 

Blogging from the Closet


No, this post is not about a bad Ann Coulter "joke." Nor is it about John Travolta:

Travolta

It's about a discovery I made while cleaning out my closet this weekend. First, let me show you what a wonderful job I did:

closet

You'd be impressed if you saw how it looked on Friday. It took me two days to straighten out this mother! The reason being that I'm, a) a pack rat and b) I'm an impulse clothing shopper. I seriously had not cleaned out this closet for 9 years. Shirts were scrunched up against each other, jeans were piled on top of t-shirts and vice versa. It was a mess. Now, I'm the envy of my wife (picture of her half of the closet has been self-censored. I'm not an idiot).

Now, here's my discovery: At least 2/3 of what I shoved into 5 (count 'em) large Hefty bags were from a chain store (The Gap, Banana Republic, Old Navy, Eddie Bauer, J Crew, etc.). It wasn't because the items were all out of style (some of them were) but because they all had lost their shape (if they ever had one in the first place). This goes back to my impulse shopping: Often when I'd go to a Gap, if I found a shirt I liked, I'd buy 4 or 5 of the same style in different colors. So, over the years, I collected quite a few of these items, at "bargain" prices. But what kind of bargain are you getting if after you wash and wear a shirt a couple of times, it completely stretches out and makes you look like you are wearing a potato sack?

So, I've decided, from now on, it's all about C.P.W.: Cost per Wear. The majority of the things I saved in my closet, some of it at least 8 years old, were somewhat pricey, designer label clothes. Still in style. Still in great shape.

Screw The Gap.

This has been a Public Service Announcement, courtesy of Krup.

 

More CPAC Comedy


This time, it's intentional:



(via The Nation)

 

Newt Gingrich: Humanitarian


In addition to the comedy stylings of Ann Coulter (see below), the conservative folk at CPAC were treated to some "red meat" from flash-in-the-pan Newt Gingrich:
"How can you have the mess we have in New Orleans, and not have had deep investigations of the federal government, the state government, the city government, and the failure of citizenship in the Ninth Ward, where 22,000 people were so uneducated and so unprepared, they literally couldn't get out of the way of a hurricane."
Remember, this is the sensitive guy who served his first wife for divorce while she was in a hospital being treated for cancer.

March 03, 2007

 

News Flash: Transgendered Man Calls John Edwards a "Faggot":



March 02, 2007

 

"It's a Small World" - The Least Popular Attraction at PenisLand


The following urls are REAL:
1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don't forget a vacation at Lake Tahoe, www.gotahoe.com
(The nearest 'hoe's are around Reno)

7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is www.cummingfirst.com

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site, www.speedofart.com
(via Dependable Renegade)

 

What Muffin Would You Like?



 

Amazingly, He Still Has a Double-Digit Approval Rating


29!
(Click for more)

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