July 29, 2006

Tristero Writes a Letter


And I'd like you to read it:
Open Letter To Liberal Hawks

by tristero

Dear Liberal Hawks and other fence sitters from 2002/2003 (you know who you are),

Don't even think about a "thoughtful, measured response" to this bullshit.
President Bush proudly declared that American foreign policy no longer seeks to “manage calm,” and derided policies that let anger and resentment lie “beneath the surface.” Bush said that the violence in the Middle East was evidence of a more effective foreign policy that addresses “root causes.”
This is sheer, abject lunacy of the sort that imagined the invasion of Iraq would lead to city squares in Iraq named after George W. Bush and the invasion would pay for itself out of oil revenues. The only appropriate reaction is to very loudly proclaim this is the reasoning of madmen. No rational human being thinks like this.

Your credibility has been ruined already by falling for the preposterous lies and rationalizations prior to the Iraq invasion. If you take this seriously, your immortal soul is majorly on the line. While I'm enjoying an eternity of Mozart, Bach, and Howling Wolf, you will be suffering the unbearable agony of exposure to Kenny G, 24/7. Forever. You don't want to risk that, trust me.

Repeat: there are no serious issues to be "engaged" in Bush's latest drooling remarks. The people who came up with an American foreign policy based on addressing "root causes" and no longer managing calm need straitjackets. Neither they, nor you, nor the rest of the world will benefit by opportunities to discuss these sick delusions. Under no circumstances should you try to do so.

I hope I've made myself clear.

Love,

tristero
(Link)

Unfortunately, Tristero left out the part where "W" invokes...wait for it...9/11:
David Gregory, NBC News: I’d like to ask you about the big picture that you’re discussing. Mr. President, three years ago, you argued that an invasion of Iraq would create a new stage of Arab-Israeli peace. And yet today there is an Iraqi prime minister who has been sharply critical of Israel. Arab governments, despite your arguments, who first criticized Hezbollah, have now changed their tune. Now they’re sharply critical of Israel. And despite from both of you warnings to Syria and Iran to back off support from Hezbollah, effectively, Mr. President, your words are being ignored.

So what has happened to America’s clout in this region that you’ve committed yourself to transform?



Stewart

(Click to watch our shameless, clueless president)


BUSH: David, It’s an interesting period because, ummm–instead of having foreign policies based upon trying to create a sense of stability, we have a foreign policy that addresses the root causes of violence and instability. For a while, American foreign policy was just, Let’s hope everything is calm — manage calm. But beneath the surface brewed a lot of resentment and anger that was manifested on September the 11th.

And so we’ve taken a foreign policy that says: On the one hand, we will protect ourselves from further attack in the short run by being aggressive in chasing down the killers and bringing them to justice.
(Video nicked from Crooks & Liars)

Trudeau is on a Roll



Smart
(Click for more Doonesbury)

July 28, 2006

The Top 50 Movie Endings of All Time


A fun time-waster, courtesy of filmcritic.com, and a nice, inclusive (ie: non-snobby) list (among the 50: Real Genius!). However, I would have added three more (and skipped the worthless Batman Begins):

Time Bandits: Young Kevin, after traveling through time with six dwarves, warns his Mum & Dad not to touch the large stone that's inside their toaster oven:
"Mom! Dad! It's evil! Don't touch it!"
[Kevin's parents explode]
"Mom? Dad?"
Local Hero: After Mac (Peter Reigert) makes a failed, drunken attempt to trade places with Gordon Urquhart, accountant, bartender, innkeeper, husband to Stella and community representative of a small Scottish coastal village ("I'd make a good Gordon, Gordon"), the film ends with Mac's return to the rat race, his yearning for the quiet Scottish life touchingly conveyed by the final shot of the town's red phone booth, it's phone ringing, ringing and ringing...

Duck Soup: After plunging Freedonia into an unnecessary war, it's leader, Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) leads his country to victory with the help of Chicolini and Pinkie (Chico & Harpo):
Rufus to Pinkie: "You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember while you're out there risking life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are."
As the absurd battle comes to a conclusion, Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) declares "Victory is ours!" and begins to sing the Freedonia national anthem. She is then pelted with rotten fruit and vegetables. Comedy gold.

Completely In Over Her Head


Oy

Cold War expert Condi Rice has had a tough week. Forced to finally do something about the Israel-Lebanon conflict, she has proven herself to be as incompetent as her boss as well as some of his previous, questionable hires ("Heckuva Job Brownie," anyone?). As Maureen Dowd recently put it:
Now the secretary of state is leaving, reluctantly and belatedly, to do some shuttle diplomacy that entails little diplomacy and no shuttling. It’s more like air-guitar diplomacy.

Condi doesn’t want to talk to Hezbollah or its sponsors, Syria and Iran — “Syria knows what it needs to do,’’ she says with asperity — and she doesn’t want a cease-fire. She wants “a sustainable cease-fire,’’ which means she wants to give the Israelis more time to decimate Hezbollah bunkers with the precision-guided bombs that the Bush administration is racing to deliver.

“I could have gotten on a plane and rushed over and started shuttling, and it wouldn’t have been clear what I was shuttling to do,” she said.

Keep more civilians from being killed? Or at least keep America from being even more despised in the Middle East and around the globe?
All of this air-guitar diplomacy has put Condi in a very serious mood and has forced her to display the only known skill she has. Cue the piano:

Piano
"It is not a time that is frivolous. It is a serious time. I will play something that is in accordance with my serious mood," said Rice about her planned performance for The Association of South East Asian Nations.
Yes, but if she's so serious, can she explain what the deal is with her outfit? From head to toe, she's a sartorial disaster. The only thing serious is how seriously bad her choices are.

At least her predecessor had the good sense to be ridiculous on purpose:

Gotta Love New Yorkers


New York magazine interviewed 100 random New Yorkers and asked them what they thought President Bush should do about the Israel-Lebanon conflict. Here are a few of their answers:
"Direct talks with Iran and Syria." "Pull out of Iraq." "Stay the course." "Embrace Islam." "Bush can do anything as long as he is 100 percent supporting Israel." "Resign." "Die." "These things are over his head. He's an imbecile." "Pray more."

July 27, 2006

If You Don't Like This, You Are No Longer My Friend



Gumnaamb

(Click to download Windows Media file)


Okay. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh. But this video mash-up of a Bollywood classic with Primus makes me giddy. If the footage looks familiar, you might remember it from the movie Ghost World. And, if like me, you were dying to see the entire dance scene after the movie, you can (of course) find it over at WFMU's Beware of the Blog (which is where I found the aforementioned mash-up in the first place).

Are we still friends?

"Land of Confusion"




Other than an excuse to get Spawn creator Todd McFarlane to make another music video, can anyone tell me why the metal band Disturbed would cover this Genesis song? I mean, don't you automatically have to hand in your metal credentials once you admit to liking Phil Collins-era Genesis?

July 26, 2006

Colbert Makes It Look Oh So Easy




Watch Stephen as he puts the morning news shows in their place.

Well, There Goes My Lunch


From Daniel Edwards, the man who gave us Britney-giving-birth-on-a-bearskin- rug, comes The Presidential Bust of Hillary Rodham Clinton: The First Woman President of the United States of America:

Hillary


The piece was inspired by actress Sharon Stone who recently said:
“I think Hillary Clinton is fantastic. But I think it is too soon for her to run. This may sound odd but a woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. Hillary still has sexual power and I don’t think people will accept that. It’s too threatening.”
Hat tip to WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

Are You "Rapture Ready?"



Rapture

WFMU's Beware of the Blog wants to help you prepare for the day of reckoning. Click George and his friends for everything you need to know before you burn in Hell.

Ladies & Gentlemen: The Whoboys!



Condi

The Who Meets The Beach Boys (and much, much more!)

Click the surfing Townshend to download 'em (while you can).

Today's "Funny"




(Click for more Doonesbury)

July 25, 2006

Shlomo: Human Beat Box




Salif Keita and Pete Doherty look on in amazement (well, at least Salif looks amazed; I think Pete's just completely wasted) as a nice, Jewish boy named Shlomo gets jiggy with his "folds of mucous membranes that project into the cavity of the larynx and have free edges extending dorsoventrally toward the middle line" (and throws in some Missy Elliot and White Stripes for good measure).

(Hat tip to Shullovox)

Borat: The Movie ("Nice!")


Dog Judo!




For more episodes, go here.

Bob

Seriously, Folks: Can't We Get Some Adults In Charge?



Rice


Click our incompetent, petulant, defensive Secretary of State to watch how well she's handling the Israel-Lebanon crisis.

The $64,000 Question



Peace7
(Click to watch)

Elvis Costello, with a little help from his "friends" Fiona Apple, Death Cab for Cutie and Green Day's Billy Joe Armstrong, asks the $64,000 Question (give or take the estimated $430 billion we've already spent on the spectacular failure known as the War on Terror): "(What's So Funny 'bout) Peace, Love & Understanding?"

(Taken from VH1 Classic's Decades Rock Live.)

One other question: WTF is Fiona Apple doing with her dress?!?! Is she dancing with it? Is she angry with it? Is she trying to remove a stubborn stain? (I know, that's four questions).

July 24, 2006

My New Favorite Commericial



Vonage
(Click to watch)

Sometimes, all you need is one camera, one long take, a couple of good actors and a great choreographer.

NEW New York Dolls



Dance
(Click to watch/listen)

Not too like the old New York Dolls but a helluva lot better than it should be (coming some 30-odd years after their last album).


Dolls
(Click to buy)

July 22, 2006

"After the Garden" - Living with War




Support Our Environment ('cause Lord knows our President doesn't).



"Families" - Living WIth War




Support Our Troops ('cause Lord knows our President doesn't).



July 21, 2006

The Amazing Talking Embryos and the "Culture of Life" Loophole






onegoodmove has posted the Daily Show's genius take on the Bush administration's morally ambiguous "culture of life." As Jon Stewart reminds us: "Every being counts. Every person matters...Each one precious. Each one sacred-ish." Click Jon to watch.

July 20, 2006

F*ck Bush



Flip Off


Click the cute little girl, seen here flipping off the Preznit while he explains why he's such a douche bag for blocking federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, and listen to my buddy Diriki Mack and The KulchaShock Movement wax poetic about why our "daily vow" should be to "F*ck Bush."

For more Diriki and friends, go here. Pass it on...

I Honestly Don't Know How I Feel About This*




*"This" being Loose Change, a short film that examines what might really have happened on September 11, 2001.

The PC Guy Explains Net Neutrality


The Top 100 Music Videos of All Time?


Stylus Magazine apparently made their intern scour YouTube and put together a very questionable list of the Top 100 Music Videos of All Time. There are a number of choices that I find laughable (Britney's Baby One More Time, Lisa Loeb's Stay, David Bowie & Bing Crosby singing Little Drummer Boy?!?) but I guess you can argue that there's something for everyone (plus they've saved you all of that time it would have taken you to scour YouTube for 100 okay-to-great music videos).

I'm glad this one made the list:



(reminds of when I actually could stand to watch MTV -- before it was destroyed by, first, Def Leppard and then The Real World and all of that show's evil spawn)

Have fun...

July 18, 2006

"Don't Drop The Baby!"



American Storage


From the people who brought us this and this, comes the second installment of Wholphin. It features short films by Steven Soderbergh, Errol Morris, Bob Odenkirk, Andy Richter and a bunch of people you probably never heard of.

Click the pic of Steve Carell above to watch some excerpts, including Jessica Yu's Sour Death Balls, Andrew Jay Cohen's American Storage featuring Carell, David Krumholtz and Martin Starr (Freaks and Geeks), Andy Richter's The Quest, Bob Odenkirk's The Pity Card (about a guy who takes a woman on a first date to a Holocaust museum) and some really cool squid footage.

For more about Wholphin, click the cover below:


Wholphin


Editor's Note: You may have noticed that this blog has been starting to favor pop culture over pure politics lately. This is mainly due to news fatigue -- what with the continuing debacle of our war on terror, the horrible tsunami in Java and the Israel/Lebanon mess that our President appears to be completely clueless about, I just have needed to seek solace in mindless diversions every now and then. You know, diversions like this:


Bottled Music - video powered by Metacafe

Sue me.

Pee Wee's Message to President Bush


(who obviously has been hitting the old crack vials lately):

July 17, 2006

President Gutter Mouth



Preznit
(Click to watch)

As we all know, Bush reneged on the whole restore-honor-and-dignity-to-the-White-House-thing a long, long time ago...

July 15, 2006

July 14, 2006

My New Favorite Song



Choir
(Click to watch/listen)

Pure genius courtesy of The Complaints Choir of Helsinki by way of WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

"Low Approval Ratings Can Be Contracted Through Saliva"


The Kiss

Stephen Colbert on Lieberman and that kiss:

July 13, 2006

House O' Dominoes


Sue Everybody


Plame
The gauntlet has been thrown down. Click image to download the entire complaint.

Warning: This Film Made Me Crap My Pants


The Headbutt, Revisted


(a.k.a. All About My Mother)

Headbutt

Headbutt Headbutt Headbutt

Courtesy of WFMU's Beware of the Blog's World Cup Death Watch.

Cut the Traitor Talk


"To all the Republicans who sit in their air-conditioned offices and talk of the courage it takes for them to keep young kids in harm's way -- I say enough. Karl Rove talking about "cutting and running" while he sits on his big, fat backside-saying "stay the course." I say enough! That's not a plan! We've got to have a new direction, and it's clear we need more Democrats in Congress to get that done.

No matter how obvious the mistakes in Iraq become, or how many Americans get fed up, Republicans in Congress and the White House will label you a traitor to your country if you stand up and question them. I hope you will join me in my call to House Republicans by signing this petition. We hope to deliver 50,000 names to the Speaker of the House, asking them to cut the traitor talk and start to get a change of direction in Iraq -- if you believe this Republican Congress has abdicated its responsibility long enough, please join us."
Join John Murtha and sign the petition.

July 12, 2006

Never seen anything like that before, falling bodies tumble 'cross the floor...


(Well I'm a tumbler!)*



* "Born Under Punches" - Talking Heads

Lewis Black's Breakthrough



Lewis
(Click to watch)

Excerpt from Lewis Black's most recent HBO special, "Red, White & Screwed." You can buy Lewis' latest album over at emusic (You get 25 free downloads just for trying the service. Lewis' album has 18. Do the math, browse the site and get some more free MP3s).

"Did it really ding-dong?"


Allen Toussaint and Elvis Costello try to answer some big questions on this blistering version of Toussaint's "Who's Gonna Help Brother Get Further?" featuring The Imposters, Anthony "AB" Brown and The Crescent City Horns. One question not addressed: What the hell is up with drummer Pete Thomas' facial hair?


EC & AT
(Click to watch/Dancing permitted)

Buy the album here.

July 11, 2006

-P-O-O-D-L-E-




(Click the Poodle with the red ball to learn how to play the game of "Poodle")

NSFW

(via WFMU's Beware of the Blog)

For more info, go here.

The Eraser


Radiohead's Thom Yorke (kinda sorta a spiritual descendant of Syd Barrett) has just released his first solo album:



(Click the CD cover to stream the entire album. All you have to do is register for free and then choose "Album of the Month")

R.I.P., You Crazy Diamond


Pink Floyd's Syd Barrett has passed away. He was 60.













July 10, 2006

Moron-in-Chief


And besides being an idiot, he's unbelievably arrogant, smug, contemptuous and defensive:



(Click to watch)

Video stolen from Crooks and Liars.

Pourquoi?!?!?!?




What the hell could Marco Materazzi have said to provoke Zizou?

UPDATE: Rumor has it, Materazzi called Zidane a "dirty terrorist":
France captain Zinedine Zidane was apparently called a "dirty terrorist" by Marco Materazzi before he head-butted the Italy defender in Sunday's World Cup final, the anti-racism group SOS Racism said on Monday...

Zidane, the son of Algerian immigrants, was shown a red card after the incident and Italy went on to win on penalties after the match was tied 1-1 following extra time.

The Paris-based group called for an inquiry and said world soccer's governing body FIFA had recently toughened sanctions against racism.

"It's for this reason that SOS Racism asks in a determined fashion for FIFA to shed light on this altercation and that sanctions laid out in the official rules be applied should this be the case," SOS Racism said.

Neither Zidane nor Materazzi have spoken in public about what had passed between them before the incident. French television reported that Zidane would talk about the incident "in the coming days".


Despite the incident, my wife and I got swept up in the excitement and came down with World Cup Fever. Time to plan for South Africa, 2010. In the meantime, we can all watch this for the next four years:

soccer

July 07, 2006

the party party PRESENTS:


bush
"Sunday Bloody Sunday" by George W. Bush

Click the smirking chimp to watch.

July 06, 2006

Vacation Photo Blogging!


Just slightly (and we do mean slightly) less irritating than visiting friends and suffering through their vacation photos...

pint
"The best beer ever" (we said that after each pint)

pub
Standing room only to watch England lose the World Cup once again ("curse you, Ronaldo!")

restaurant
Rather than stand, we found a tiny Italian restaurant (with an even tinier TV) to watch England lose the World Cup (once again)


Mews
Site of one of my favorite Kinks' songs, "Berkeley Mews" (click the pic to listen)

tube
The Tube. Air conditioned stations but non-air conditioned cars. Extra points for large maps, easy access, cleanliness. New York Subway: 1/London Underground: 3

Super
A "super" window display

danger
We're big fans of Stick Figures in Peril


wimbledon
We "queued" for an hour and a half in the blazing heat for limited Wimbledon access. Here's the action on Court 16 between 4 guys we never heard of.


Busker
And finally, a song to sum it all up (Click to watch & listen).
open

The nicest thing about getting out of the country? You don't see much of this pig:

Sweaty President

Light posting until I get my bearings...