December 23, 2008
A Christmas Aimee: "Bah-F*%king-Humbug"
Chanteuse Aimee Mann, with a little help from husband Michael Penn, John Krasinski, Michael Cera, John C. Reilly and director Tim Heidecker (Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!), tackle A Christmas Carol:
(Contains bad words)
December 17, 2008
The FINAL Bush White House Christmas Video
videogum is convinced that the entire Bush family was on crack when they made this. I just find it amazing that these smug fucks found the time to sit around and make this crap while our economy craters. Oh, and let's not forget to "celebrate America," that great country which allowed Daddy to send 4,209 American soldiers to their deaths in Iraq. Yea America! Yea Daddy!!!
December 15, 2008
Send Your Old, Dirty, Stinkin' Shoes to George W. Bush
So suggests The Rude Pundit:
This morning, the Rude Pundit decided to honor the efforts of Muntader al-Zaidi, the Iraqi shoe-tosser, by taking out a raggedy old pair of sneakers, putting them in a Priority Mail shipping box, helpfully provided by the United States Post Office, and shipping them to President George W. Bush at the White House. He included a note that read, "This is a farewell kiss from the American people, you dog."So, this week, when you go to send out all of your Christmas cards and presents, why not bring along those rotting sneakers you probably have buried somewhere in your closet? I guarantee you it'll put you in the Christmas spirit.
Since throwing objects at the president is generally considered a crime, the Rude Pundit figures sending shoes to Bush is a small, good thing, a gesture of contempt that has context. Sweet Christ, at this point, there should be giant sacks of shoes heading to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC, 20500, like letters to Santa.
The Rude Pundit is not going to hide his fucking glee at the incident. He's not going to "respect the office" or some such shit because Bush doesn't respect it, so fuck him - take a fuckin' shoe in the face - it'll probably be the only punishment our criminal president ever faces in his lifetime. All over America right now, millions of people are thinking the same thing: "About. Fucking. Time." Hell, when you watch the video, you see that the Secret Service barely cares. And you also see Bush smirk, as if thinking, "It's better than the plates Laura flings when she finds my whiskey."
December 10, 2008
December 03, 2008
Curse You Videogum!
They must spend every nano-second of the day looking for great crap on the internet:
Be sure to visit them and answer the question, "Which Pug are you?" (I'm the confused one, styling the cool green name tag)
December 02, 2008
Dear Fellow Constituent:
The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations.
The Library will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
The National Debt Room, which is Huge and has no ceiling.
The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.
The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
The Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.
Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President's accomplishments.
•••
The library will also include many famous quotes by George W. Bush:
'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.'
'No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.'
'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.'
'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.'
'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'
'The future will be better tomorrow.'
'We're have the best educated American people in the world.'
'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.' (during an education photo-op)
'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.'
'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'
'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!
Sincerely,
Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair
G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors
(h/t: reader crazyhorsedave; not sure where he got it from)
November 25, 2008
November 21, 2008
God, I hope she runs in 2012
...and 2016 and 2020:
...As (Palin) staged an impromptu press conference after pardoning one lucky bird, a worker at the Triple D Farm and Hatchery in Wasilla sliced a turkey's neck, bled it out and twisted its head off behind the governor, directly in the camera's line of fire.(via The Raw Story)
A reporter asked Palin if she was okay with the backdrop. The Alaskan Governor answered, "no worries." As the bird's head was removed, the man looked over his shoulder at the governor and reporters and flashed a toothy grin.
"I was happy to be invited to participate in, in this, and, uh, and, you know, for one, you need a little bit of levity in this job, especially with a, uh, so much that has gone on in the last couple of months that has been so, um, political, ah, obviously, that it's nice to get out and, and do something to promote a local business and, and to uh, just participate in something that isn't so, um, heavy-handed politics that, uh, invites criticism," said the governor in what appeared to be a single sentence.
"Certainly we'll even invite criticism for doin' this too, but at least this was fun!" she pronounced.
November 20, 2008
November 13, 2008
November 11, 2008
Here's to Our Vets
Including my Dad who "enlisted in the Army at age 17 and became a Staff Sergeant in the 69th Division of the infantry, doing combat patrols in France and Germany during World War II. He also wrote for the Army's Stars and Stripes newspaper, and re-enlisted after the war to become public relations director for a series of 'soldier shows' in Europe."
(Click the pic to help support veterans)
November 10, 2008
Run Don't, um, Sleepwalk
My wife, niece and I got to see Mike Birbiglia's one man show, Sleepwalk With Me last night. Mike is my favorite living American comedian (Dead: Mitch Hedberg; English: Eddie Izzard -- so Mike's in good company). Needless to say, we all loved the show.
Essentially, it's his standup routine, expanded and shaped into one story with multiple tangents, so the experience is a lot like going to a comedy club without having to sit next to drunken tourists. The story is all about Mike's battle with REM behavior disorder, "a condition that causes him to act out events in his dreams while remaining asleep." His dreams include bears that can open doors, jackals and Brad Pitt from Fight Club so you can imagine how messed up his condition is.
A blogger described Mike as being "pudgy and awkward" but I'm gonna go with "poochie and endearing." Also, did I mention he's fucking hilarious?
If you live in the New York area, you should definitely check it out. I'm guessing Mike might have to pay for some outstanding doctor bills.
November 07, 2008
November 06, 2008
November 04, 2008
"Fired Up? Ready to Go!!!"
This guy can spin a yarn. Try to imagine George W. Bush, John McCain or Sarah Palin pulling this off...
November 03, 2008
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