May 30, 2008

 

Young Hillary Clinton




(It's weird that some of the young kids in this actually have better comic timing than Jerry O'Connell.)

May 29, 2008

 

"Best Bitch Slap EVAR"


If you like a good laugh, especially one at the expense of a right wing dumbass, do yourself a favor and read this entire post.

 

WTF?!?


air force air force

chest bump

air force air force

This is the same "Commander in Chief" that Scottie (Too Little, Too Late) McClellan believed in at the start of the Iraq War.

May 28, 2008

 

Alice




Brilliant. Watch it now before Disney wipes it off the 'net. And go here to download a free mp3 of the track.

May 27, 2008

 

A Short Vacation Video



pigeon
(Click to watch)

Music by Supergrass. Yes, Supergrass.

May 26, 2008

 
open

I'm back. Looks like most of my predictions have come true. What I couldn't have predicted was Hillary Clinton out-Huckabeing Mike Huckabee:



Please don't tell me her words have been taken out of context or misconstrued. She clearly meant it ain't over till it's over...that shit happens...that, for instance, someone could drop out of the race due to an unfortunately timed assassination. I'm not saying she's planning on killing anyone. She was just putting the thought out there. Even if you excuse it as simply "bad taste" you have to admit, that's EXTREMELY bad taste.

Anybody out there still support her candidacy? Because, if you do, that means you support someone who has morphed into a complete and total asshole. Someone who does not give a shit about her party or perhaps even her country. Just someone who believes that becoming President is her destiny and she doesn't care how she achieves it.

And besides, do you really want another drunk in the White House:



"Happy" Memorial Day, y'all. Don't forget to remember the 4394 men and women who won't be barbecuing or drinking beer with their families today thanks, in part, to Hillary R. Clinton's support of George W. Bush's war.

the dead

May 17, 2008

 

Gone Fishin' Drinkin'


Closed

You kids behave. Back on the 26th.

Some predictions for while I'm away:
• Barack Obama will pick up at least two high-profile endorsements. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton will still be patiently waiting for the all-important David Duke endorsement.

• Someone will win American Idol. I think it will be the one who has sort of a decent singing voice.

• Obama will win Oregon. Clinton will win Kentucky. Hillary will claim massive momentum.

• Mike Huckabee will spend the entire week trying to get his foot out of his mouth. The usual suspects will line up to defend him and claim that his "joke" was taken out of context.

• Kevin James still won't know the definition of "appeasement."


And here's another little something for "Rico Bach": This is what actually happened on the set of Inside Edition 20 years ago:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

(NSFW)

May 16, 2008

 

Some Music for the Weekend





(h/t freakgirl)

 

Quote of the Month, Perhaps Decade


"[T]he constitutionally based right to marry properly must be understood to encompass the core set of basic substantive legal rights and attributes traditionally associated with marriage that are so integral to an individual’s liberty and personal autonomy that they may not be eliminated or abrogated by the Legislature or by the electorate through the statutory initiative process. These core substantive rights include, most fundamentally, the opportunity of an individual to establish — with the person with whom the individual has chosen to share his or her life — an officially recognized and protected family possessing mutual rights and responsibilities and entitled to the same respect and dignity accorded a union traditionally designated as marriage."

Go California.

 

Appease Allow Me To Introduce Myself


I'm not a big fan of Chris Matthews. Actually, I don't really like him at all. His voice gives me a headache and his laugh freaks the hell out of me. But yesterday, Matthews conducted the greatest interview of his career and absolutely eviscerated right-wing hack Kevin James who came on Hardball to backup the Preznit's not very veiled claim that Barack Obama's ideas regarding diplomacy and negotiations make him comparable to Nazi appeasers. The only problem was that James had zero grasp of the facts pertaining to Nazi appeasement, particularly the actions of Neville Chamberlain back in 1938. This may be the funniest pundit video I've ever seen:



Now, I admit, I didn't know exactly what Chamberlain did either (I must have been "absent" that day in school), but I don't go around talking smack on the radio or television about stuff I don't know about. It took me less than a minute to find the information on the internet. You would think if you are going to share your "expertise" with the American public that you would at least take a few minutes to prep your talking points.

It would be fantastic if Matthews' actions became a trend on pundit television, especially during this election year (we're going to be hearing a lot of crap, and not just about appeasement, from now until November). Could you imagine how great it would be to see talking head after talking head getting completely smacked down for not doing their homework? For too long, these Rovian thugs have gotten away with bullshitting the American people. It's time our members of the press did their jobs.

For example, did you know that John McCain was in favor of talking to Hamas before he was against it? You wouldn't have if you simply read or listened to what was mostly doled out by the media yesterday. Fortunately, a reporter from the Washington Post recalled this interview with McCain from two years ago:



That's journalism. I wonder how many mainstream U.S. journalists are going to look into Bush's grandfather's dealings with the Nazis? I'm not going to hold my breath.

For more appeasement fun, let's go to our old pal Jon Stewart:



UPDATE: I meant to mention this before. One of the most hilarious aspects of the Matthews/James interview was James' attempt at a final zinger as he tried to pin 9/11 on Bill Clinton. Mark Green correctly comes back with the fact that 9/11 happened on Bush's watch and that for 9 months former members of the Clinton administration, particularly Richard Clarke, tried to warn the Bushies about bin Laden. James' retort? Watch an ABC made-for-TV movie he erroneously called "Pathway to 9/11" (he meant Path to 9/11 which TV critic Tom Shales called "Factually shaky, politically inflammatory and photographically a mess."). Why read or listen to facts when you can watch pretty pictures on the teevee?

May 15, 2008

 

Tom Waits Dishes on Showering with Marlene Dietrich and His Fear of Fountain Pens & Sensible Shoes


A TV gem, circa 1991:



(h/t WFMU's Beware of the Blog)

 

Sacrifice




(for more information, go to The Bush Legacy Tour)

More from K.O.:


 

The Day There Was No News


If only...




(h/t boingboing)

 

GObama


Obama

(from my pal B.J.)

May 14, 2008

 

The Real Problem With Hillary Clinton:


Instead of trying to educate this country and bring it together, she is instead exploiting the hatred and ignorance of people like these "fine" folks from West Virginia:



(h/t to reader Sal)

 

Sad


2:57 p.m., Yeager Airport, Charleston, W.Va.: A steep descent brings Clinton's plane to Charleston's hilltop airport. After an appropriate wait, she steps from the plane and pretends to wave to a crowd of supporters; in fact, she is waving to 10 photographers underneath the airplane's wing. She pretends to spot an old friend in the crowd, points and gives another wave; in fact, she is waving at an aide she had been talking with on the plane minutes earlier.


Pathetic, actually.

May 13, 2008

 

Two (to 8) Out Of Every 10 West Virginians Don't Like Black People


I am soooooooooooooo shocked:
"The number of white Democratic voters who said race had influenced their choices on Tuesday was among the highest recorded in voter surveys in the nomination fight. Two in 10 white West Virginia voters said race was an important factor in their votes. More than 8 in 10 who said it factored in their votes backed Mrs. Clinton, according to exit polls."






Less shocking? Hillary Clinton's take on her token victory:
"The White House is won in the swing states. And I am winning the swing states," Clinton told cheering supporters at a victory rally.
So, in other words, all of you white people out there better get your act together or you are gonna end up with a big Black loser in November. Or something to that effect.

Fun Fact: Both Gore and Kerry lost West Virginia (and it's grand total of 5, count 'em, electoral votes) in their bids to become POTUS. Perhaps West Virginia is no longer the bastion of Democratic salvation that Hillary wants you to think it is. Methinks there are bigger fish to fry (and Obama knows it).

 

This One Goes Out To "Rico Bach"

Except for the occasional, angry Jared Leto fan, I rarely receive negative comments from readers of this blog. In fact, this blog rarely receives any comments at all unless you count the enthusiastic missives from obsessive Titanic fans or the nice folks who like to discuss Jehovah's Witnesses.

However, last night I received the following comment about yesterday's Bill O'Reilly post from some brave soul with a fake name, living in his parent's basement, who needed to let me know what a jerk I am:
As if your politics were not a large enough nut-filled turd, now you're beating your villians over the head with old blooper reel footage. The guy was stuck on "Inside Edition" for Christ's sake. If you are the savvy industry insider you claim to be, you know all of the less than flattering moments dubbed off on thousands of videotapes... capturing talent at their worst. Good thing there were no cameras in the edit suite rolling when you were throwing hissy-fits while keying cheesy supers over Ren & Stimpy promos... eh, Ace? My advice to you: grow up. And vote McCain, dumbass.
Where do I begin? Okay:
• First of all "Rico", if my politics seem like a stinky nougat to you, why are you even reading my blog? Shouldn't you be reading Jonah Goldberg?

• "Villains"? How quaint.

This is a blooper:



Hahaha. Wasn't that simply hi-larious? You see, Rico, a blooper is, to quote Merriam-Webster, "an embarrassing public blunder." I'll add the word "harmless" to that definition. The Bill O'Reilly video was not a blunder. It consisted of the lunatic ravings of a very unhinged man who continues to act that way, albeit without the profanity, on his high-quality "news" program, The O'Reilly Factor:



• Billo was "stuck" on Inside Edition?!?! For six years?!?! Bill started on that show as a correspondent in 1989 and worked his way up to anchor. Bill was actually so proud of his imprisonment tenure at Inside Edition that, in 2001, he falsely claimed that the show had won a prestigious Peabody Award. After he was busted for his lie by Al Franken, Bill claimed that he had mistakenly said "Peabody" and meant to say "Polk" (it was later learned that Inside Edition received it's Polk Award a year after O'Reilly was "released" from the show).

• I don't ever recall claiming I was a "savvy insider" but I might have once said I won a Polk Award (I was probably drunk when I said it so I really don't remember).

• "Hissy-fits"? I beg your pardon sir, but I don't roll that way. I once, at the ripe old age of 23, threw a 3/4" tape across a control room (which I believe "hissed" as it made it's way to the adjacent wall) but it's not a moment I'm particularly proud of (although someone had seriously messed up). However, it was a one-time event and not something I would use to base my career on. Yelling at people or physically intimidating them gets you nowhere unless you plan on hosting a show on Fox News. But, on this particular point, I agree with your view Rico and I'm glad there's no videotape of that unseemly event.

• Cheesy supers? You'll have to take that up with the Spike graphics guy who made them (and, I guess, John Kricfalusi since the graphics are simply a variation on Kricfalusi's logo.). I kinda like that spot, however, which is, admittedly not a graphics' showcase but more about writing and editing:


R&S
(Click to watch)

Well, writing...not so much.

• "Ace"? I like it. Any readers who want to leave negative comments are hereby requested to call me Ace. I've also instructed my wife to call me Ace in bed.

• I will never grow up. I'm too old for that.

• And finally, if, in November, I find myself pulling the lever for that ancient, doddering, war-mongering hypocrite, then, yes, I am a "dumbass."
So Rico, because I'm a good guy, I'd like to dedicate the following song to you. From RevoLucian, the man who brought us the classic Barbara Streisand remix STFU, comes F#*k It. Click the link to enjoy!

May 12, 2008

 

GodTube: No Jews, Muslims or Buddhists Allowed


I wonder what would Jesus post (WWJP)?
"Representing Baptist, Catholic, Episcopal, Evangelical, Messianic, Methodist and all of the traditional Christian denominations, GodTube is unique in its appeal and in its mission to "Broadcast Him"."
Here's a GodTube example of some righteous Jesus rock/rap:



Rap along:
I saw a man with tat on his big fat belly
It wiggled around like marmalade jelly
It took me a while to catch what it said
Cause I had to match the rhythm
Of his belly with my head
jesus saves is what it raved in a typical tattoo green
He stood on a box in the middle of the city
And claimed he had a dream

(snip)

People say Im strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger
People say Im strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger

 

Toned Down "Grand Theft Auto"



 

Krup Hearts Alec Baldwin and His Big, Dumb Mouth




One thing for sure about Alec, he's definitely not "f@#king with you."

 

MoveOn.org's "Obama in 30 Seconds" Contest Winner




To watch the other finalists, go here where you can also donate to help put the winning ad on yer teevee.

 

Such a Pleasant Man


The man would become "Papa Bear" in "humbler" times:


(NSFW. What do we tell the children?!?!?)

Looks like someone cut his mic and yanked the video off YouTube. Thankfully, Crooks and Liars saved it for posterity (and I stole it from them):


Papa Bear
(Click to Watch)

 

If Celebrities Were Real People



SJ
(Click for more)

May 09, 2008

 

There Goes Hillary's White Vote


This is a real ad:



No, seriously. It's real.

May 08, 2008

 

ManBabies!



#19
(Click for more)

 

The Unbearable Whiteness of Being...Hillary

"I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on," (Clinton) said in an interview with USA TODAY. As evidence, Clinton cited an Associated Press article "that found how Sen. Obama's support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me."

"There's a pattern emerging here," she said.
Will someone please stick a fork in this woman.

 

"It's excruciatingly painful being green."


Sad Kermit covers Elliott Smith's "Needle in the Hay" (which you may recall from The Royal Tenenbaums):



Sick but genius.

May 07, 2008

 

"The America That We Believe In"


Last night, Barack Obama took back the soul of the Democratic Party. Yes, it was only a speech. But Barack Obama sounded like someone who truly loves his country. Barack Obama sounded like someone who wants to be President because he (rightly) believes our country has been tainted and he wants to do whatever he can to restore the promise of America. Hillary Clinton sounded like someone who thinks she deserves to be President. Take it away Barack:


May 06, 2008

 

A Comedy Break


Since Hillary Clinton has already changed the focus of the Democratic Party (Was: The War, Healthcare, The Economy; Is: 3 a.m., Liquor shots, Gas Tax), we might as well take a little break from politics and watch some comedy gold from Stephen Colbert as he faces his greatest challenge: A dance off with Korean pop star Rain.


 

Yup


rall
(Click the strip for more Ted Rall)

Whoever wins big tonight will probably* be facing this guy:


mccain
(Click for more P.S. Mueller)

*I say "probably" because if Hillary wins both primaries, she's damn sure going to try and claw her way into this nomination, even if it means seating delegates who should not be seated and/or stealing pledged delegates.

Keith Olbermann has more on the Clinton metric system:


May 05, 2008

 

PEHDTSCKJMBA


Learn how to pronounce PEHDTSCKJMBA with our old pal, Tom Waits:



If Tom is guided toward your town, do not miss him. He gives one helluva concert.

 

The Great Derangement


Rolling Stone's excellent political writer, Matt Taibbi has a book coming out tomorrow called The Great Derangement: A Terrifying True Story of War, Politics, and Religion at the Twilight of the American Empire. Here's the basic premise of his book:
(After 7 years of "a corrupt White House and an acquiescent corporate media") "Americans are now supposed to make their own sense of the world, but are the right messages even reaching our collective brain? Are the halves of that brain even connected? Do we know who we are anymore? Are we sane? It's a hell of a problem for a nuclear power."
To promote the book, Matt made a video with animator Eric Merola. Enjoy:



You know our country has gone insane when Jesse Ventura makes more sense then the majority of talking heads and politicians we see day in and day out on the TeeVee:

"If America is changing because of the war on terrorism, then the terrorists are winning..."
Donny Deutsch is a great example of the inanity of our talking head culture. He goes from a discussion of "chicken hawks" to asking Ventura about Martha Stewart (!?!?) Amazingly, Ventura is able to turn that inane question into an example of how insane America has become.

 

You Cannot and Should Not Trust the Clinton Campaign



 

Something For The 8-Year-Old In All Of Us




(h/t List of the Day, a new websession)

 

I Think I Sort Of Remember When This Guy Was An Eloquent Speaker


Bill Clinton, campaigning for his wife at a North Carolina church:
"I didn't come here to ask you to vote for my wife," said Clinton, addressing the congregation at Church of the Pentacostal in Asheville, N.C. "I came here to ask you to pray for her. And to vote. Do whatever you want. Show up. Our country is in dire distress.

"I just want you to pray for her and to make your voices heard," he added. "Do whatever you think is right. But don't sit this out, because we are being called upon to return to our true purpose."
Yes, my friends, your true purpose is to send Bill back to the White House or "whatever you want."

May 04, 2008

 

The Woman Worth $109 Million Is Not An Elitist

"I'm not going to put my lot in with economists," (Hillary Clinton) said when asked to name a credible economist who supported her (gas tax) proposal.

"We've got to get out of this mind-set where somehow elite opinion is always on the side of doing things that really disadvantage the vast majority of Americans," said Clinton, a former first lady who would be the first woman president.
Sure, she knows all about the disadvantaged. This from the woman who said to Bill O'Reilly, "Rich people, God bless us":



Enough. There's a choice:


May 03, 2008

 

The Empire Strikes Barack


Indiana, North Carolina: The Choice is Yours.



May the Force Be with You.

May 01, 2008

 

The Daily Show Puts Things Into Perspective:





 

President Obama


Barack calls bullshit on suspending the gas tax (as do the economic experts):



Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton continues to run for the Republican nomination:

While defending Bill Clinton’s role in the passage of NAFTA, Paul Gipson, president of a steelworkers local, said that union members need to look forward, and support a leader who can work to amend and improve provisions in the trade agreement.

“I truly believe that that’s going to take an individual that has testicular fortitude,” he said. “That’s exactly right. That’s what we gotta have.”

Clinton, standing behind Gipson, smiled sheepishly before breaking into a nervous laugh. Gipson continued by slamming unnamed “Gucci-wearing, latte-drinking, self-centered, egotistical people that have damaged our lifestyle,” before endorsing and introducing Clinton.
It's gotta be this kind of crap that has convinced people like Joe Andrew, former DNC leader under Bill Clinton, to switch over to Obama.

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