January 17, 2005

 

Didn't I Read This in The Onion a Few Weeks Ago?


From Reuters:
Pentagon Spurned Plan to Initiate Enemy Homosexuality

The U.S. military rejected a 1994 proposal to develop an "aphrodisiac" to spur homosexual activity among enemy troops but is hard at work on other less-than-lethal weapons, defense officials said Sunday.

The idea of fostering homosexuality among the enemy figured in a declassified six-year, $7.5 million request from a laboratory at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio for funding of non-lethal chemical weapon research...

Another idea involved creating "severe and lasting halitosis" to help sniff out fighters trying to blend with civilians...

"We feel it's very important to offer our deployed service members and their commanders a greater range of options in dealing with increasingly complex operational environments," said (Captain Dan) McSweeny, of the Joint Non-Lethal Weapons Directorate.
Apparently, Osama is able to hide so well because of his minty fresh breath:
As for perhaps the most notorious terrorist, Osama bin Laden, the administration has so far been unsuccessful in its attempt to locate the mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Asked why, (President) Bush said, "Because he's hiding."

Comments:
I can just see the label on the canister of "aphrodisiac" :
Gay Spray.

Doesnt the military realize that some of it's best soldiers are homosexual? At least they rejected it, at least officially.
 
Remember the early 1980s Get Smart Movie, The Nude Bomb?
 
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