December 23, 2004

 

The Holy Grail of Crap


A long time ago (1978), in a galaxy far, far away (Hollywood), there actually was a conspiracy led by a cabal of Jews -- including Chewbacca (known to his friends as "Jewie"), Carrie Fisher (1/2 Jewish), Harrison Ford (1/4 Jew) and the biggest Jew of all, George Lucas -- to destroy Christmas as we know it. Yes, I'm talking about what is affectionately known among geeks everywhere as "The Holy Grail of Crap": The Star Wars Holiday Special:

title
lumpy
han&lumpy
luke
leia


I was "fortunate" enough to receive a bootleg DVD copy of this special as an early Christmas gift. The reason it's a bootleg and a "Holy Grail" of sorts is because Lucas has forbid this special to ever officially see the light of day again. After watching it, I can see why: I have never screamed "Make It Stop! Make It Stop! Make It Stop!" more in my life. The experience was not too dissimilar to this:

alex

So, because I love you, I've decided to share some "highlights" from this one of a kind holiday experience. I'm sure you'll enjoy meeting Chewbacca's family, Mala, Itchy and Lumpy, as well as special guests Art Carney, Harvey Korman, Diahann Carroll, The Jefferson Starship and Bea Arthur. Happy Life Day Everyone!!!

life day

Click Me

Comments:
That was awesomely bad. No wonder Lucas has tried to kill it.
 
O.M.G... that is the single worst piece of "filmmaking" I've ever witnessed. Is this really the same group that made Star Wars?!
 
Thanks, Krup! That was awesome!

Though I'm still trying to figure out...if STAR WARS took place a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...what exactly where they celebrating? Since -- presumably -- little baby Jesus wasn't even born yet?

One of the mysterious of life I guess.

Merry Xmas...and may the Force be with us all, everyone.
 
What's truely astonishing about this special (which I have seen all of) is that it is STILL more entertaining than the Annakin/Amadala love story subplot in Episode II.
 
I am sorry to admit that I have a copy of the entire show. (Plus I remember watching it when it was shown on Television.)

Idea, Let's send copies to Lucas to remind him of his "humble" beginings....

just a thought.......
 
Please leave it up long enough for those of us laboring under the yoke of dialup.

Isabeau
 
Don't you ever, ever do that to me again!!!
 
Okay...seriously...I would almost rather watch that then Episode II again.
 
I'm not sure if it's on stomptokyo or ohthehumanity, but there's a review of the incomplete bootleg of the hodiday special that never aired (it was as bad, if not worse, than this thing), it features... Count Duku, played IIRC, by Christopher Lee. Lucas never throws anything out, no matter how foul.
 
I really didn't think it was as bad as you guys said it was going to be. I mean it was the 70's......It reminds me of the Muppet Show or something along those lines. I agree it isn't in the same vain as the movies, but I SERIOUSLY don't think Lucas ever envisioned this as a companion to his films or anything.
 
Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I would have liked to see the Boba Fett first appearance.

I'm Just...well, you know.
 
Brilliantly Bad! I really loved seeing those old Star Wars toy commercials again.
 
Very funny, missing only the Boba Fett cartoon in the middle and Tim Conway (or Harvey Corman again) as a robot instructor.
 
I must have this. I was a Star Wars crazed 11 year old kid when that was on. I remember watching it and going whaaaaaaaa...t is this? Fortunately,2 years later Empire came out and restored order to the galaxy.
 
Legend has it that whenever Lucas finds a copy of this he makes a point to personally smash it to pieces with a hammer.

Bolt your windows.
 
Is it just me, or did that whole special just seem like a gimmick to peddle Star Wars toys before Christmas?

"May the force be with you, and your children.'
 
Immediately after watching this video, I received a phone call that said I had 7 days to live.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Okay, now I can puke. When I was 11 years old, this Star Wars business was almost a religion. Now, after seeing the ludicrous, shallow, racist pap of the second 'trilogy,' and after seeing Return of the Jedi again, I realize how poorly this excrescence has aged for me. This old holiday 'special,' kind of like "The Phantom Menace," shows what happens when George Lucas isn't kept on a leash by sensible adults (e.g. Lawrence Kasdan).
 
I can't believe they don't show that every year like the Charlie Brown Christmas Special or the one with the elf that wants to become a dentist.
 
"liberal politics, non-commercial music, attempted humor"

Truth in labeling ... "attempted humor". :rolleyes:

The anti-Semitic 'humor' isn't funny. I don't mind clever ethnic jokes but this falls flat and fails to BE funny. While I agree that the holiday special was a disaster ... the site's author lost all appeal to me with the theme chosen to describe how bad it was; ... and I ant even Jewish.

Do all of your readers a favor and broaden your vocabulary of adjectives so you don’t come across as a white supremist hate monger or Muslim.
 
That action figures commercial reminds me of my childhood. I really want to play with that land speeder again!

- Buzz
 
I couldn't watch even 30 seconds of that without getting nauseous. Or maybe it's that case of beers I slammed last night...
 
To the brave anonymous poster who accused me of being a racist: It's called "I-R-O-N-Y" - look it up: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary.htm

Peace...
 
"Clockwork Orange"?
 
To Anonymous 12:08 A.M.,

Do all of your readers a favor and broaden your vocabulary of adjectives so you don’t come across as a white supremist hate monger or Muslim.If I understand your post correctly, you are implying that hatred of Jews is a defining characteristic of Muslims. I find it odd that you should lecture against prejudice. Or, did I misinterprete you?
 
Well, duh, the "Jew" remarks (however intended) weren't funny (especially cuz George Lucas isn't Jewish, and it wasn't a CHRISTMAS Special, but rather a Holiday one). And the Muslim-bashing remark wasn't funny either.

But basically, yeah, MAKE IT STOP!
 
Heh, heh. I STILL have my plastic landspeeder! And I still have two cases of original action figures! You remember the ones shaped like Darth Vader and C3PO.

Recently had a few Star Trek ones, and I loved setting up Picard and Sisko with their hands in the air, being covered by Boba Fett as they were marched before Jabba...
 
And just when you think it can't get any worse...then Carrie Fisher SINGS!!!!!!!!!
 
Somethings once seen, can not be un-seen.
The Horror.....the horror....
 
Actually I blame Sid and Marty Kroft for this lumbering, televised turd; Lucas just signed off on it, figuring (if he thought of it at all), "Hey, free advertising!" I think he made that special after he finished "Return of the Jedi" just to prove that he wasn't totally inept in overseeing TV specials.

-Strelnikov
 
Most gayest random shit ever
 
I remember watching this as a kid and being soo excited about it that it all came back to me. I'm laughing so hard that I want a copy of it. The comments on this are also adding to the humor..I think Lucas should go ahead and sell it just for laughs, Stars Wars is such a commercial franchise anyways.....
 
Although a few people that had worked with the Kroffts did work on the special, Sid and Marty Krofft had nothing to do with this disaster. From what I understand, Lucas didn't have that much to do with it either.

I thought the special was kind of cool at 9, but I barely make it through the special when I saw it as a bootleg. While some bits fall under the "so bad, it is good" category, the majority of it is just bad and boring.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
I expected Sigmund the Sea Monster to pop-in on the Wookie scenes.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
You asked for it, you got it - More Holiday Special specialness can be found here:

http://krupsjustsayin.blogspot.com/2005/01/ive-got-your-boba-fett-right-here.html
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
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Is there any way that you could burn a copy of the Holiday Special for me? I would happily reimburse you for the cost of production. Please contact me at bees_knees_88@yahoo.com
 
I found a lot of useful info about Star Wars on your blog - thank you. I also have a new Star Wars Tips blog - please click over and have a look
 
Looking for green day pic info tonight I came across this green day pic post. I was impressed. I love green day pic and am glad I found this post. Keep it up!!

Paul
 
Hi, your blog is great. If you have time please visit my green day music download blog. Its a blog about green day music download.
 
This blog is awesome! If you get a chance you may want to visit this download music sean paul site, it's pretty awesome too!
 
We are trying to find good harry potter movie to take the kids this weekend. Good harry potter movie reviews are hard to find

I just stumbled onto your blog while looking. Seems to happen to me a lot since I am a knowledge mooch LOL

Thanks
 
Nice job on your blog. If you have time visit my site Download Music All the download music you want.
 
We had been blogging trying to find how our world sees discount kid toy. It has been a lifeline for us. Your site provides some of the best examples of this sort and we will bookmark yours. Another one we found was and appears to be related to yours is discount kid toy site/blog. It pretty much covers discount kid toy related stuff.
 
Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you! I have a online gift site/blog. It pretty much covers online gift related stuff.
 
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Hey..I found a site that lets you download unlimited MP3s for free. You can save music and movies to your PC. Check it out. as i lay dying music download
 
I came across you blog and thought you may find this site usefull. It has gas saving tips and where to find cheap gas. download free font

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Computer News
China's Google rockets on debut
It was a remarkable debut. Chinese search engine Baidu.com's shares sold in the United States for US$27 ($39) - then surged on day one to close at US$122.54 ($177.46).

Friday's result was the biggest first-day gain for a new listing in the US for five years.

Investors had more than quadrupled their money.

An analyst in New York with IPOdesktop.com, a website devoted to initial public offerings, John Fitzgibbon, said: "This one is the return to the internet bubble. Last time we saw a deal skyrocket was during the frothy IPO markets of 1999 and 2000."

Then came the post-mortem.

Some analysts said the internet search engine could have had an even better payday for itself if underwriters had sold the deal at a higher price to begin with.

"It looks to me like the underwriters should have had a better indication of the appetite for this stock than they did," said Donald Straszheim, president of Straszheim Global Advisors.

Investors were eager to own a stake in a company that many say could grow as dramatically as Google and is based in a country itself undergoing explosive growth.

But other analysts are not so sure the underwriters made a mistake, given that the company's shares were priced at a relatively high multiple of revenues.

"It wasn't priced out of line with the rest of the market. In a situation like this, you're dealing with the unpredictability of the after market," said Tom Taulli, of Instream Partners in Newport Beach, California.

At issue is the underwriting process. Banks selling shares to the public - in this case Credit Suisse First Boston, Goldman Sachs, and Piper Jaffray - are paid to use quantitative models to determine a fair price for shares, but also to gauge investor demand.

Underwriting has both subjective and objective elements, making definitive evaluation of a bank's performance difficult. In this case, demand for the IPO was evidently outsized, but so were the unknowns for the company.

"We don't know the potential impact of censorship in China, or how quickly the internet will grow there," said David Menlow, president of IPOfinancial.com. Had the IPO been priced higher and then fallen in the first day of trading, investors could have sued.

Baidu.com chairman and chief executive Robin Li, speaking on CNBC, said he was not upset by the potential lost proceeds of the IPO because the company had only sold a small portion of itself, and had significantly more growth ahead.

But University of Florida Professor Jay Ritter, an IPO expert, said Baidu.com left money on the table by introducing the shares at a level well below where they ended hours later.


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Ok that wasn't THAT bad. It WAS 70's varity television. But from what I've read from other reviews, I think you just showed us the presentable parts. I wish I could see the entire episode.
 
Ski season's coming up dude... you might want to check out some ski Ruapehu information in the meanwhile.
 
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF
 
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That so wasnt Star Wars material it almost made me puke im glad this thing isnt out on reguular T.V. or id die from the whole thing! How horrible was lucas at the time anyways.
 
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