March 31, 2009
Warning: Cable News Will Rot Your Brain
I'm thinking we may reconsider installing a doggie door in our new house.
"So Much for the Theory of Evolution"
(All text taken directly from online Christian fundamentalist forums.)
Apparently, I'm going to hell.
Surprisingly, this video is NSFW and conforms to the I'm Just F'in Sayin' Promise. Fundies DO say the darndest things.
More postings can be found here.
March 30, 2009
Mr. Bean Makes Britney Almost Palatable
...and helps fulfill the I'm Just F'in Sayin' Promise (kinda, sorta).
Mo' Bean Mashups can be found here.
Ladies & Gentlemen, My Nephew:
Yes, that's snow behind him.
March 27, 2009
Muppet Babies + LOST = More Please
Videogum is a One-Year-Old
The site that brings us things like this:
...turns one in a coupla weeks and it's/they're celebrating by not serving free Dewars at some dive in NYC. For details, go here. I'll be there with bells on...
Government Bailouts Explained
March 26, 2009
Please Sign This Petition
My friend's brother was kidnapped in Mexico 107 days ago. Her family has set up a petition to urge Secretary Clinton and President Obama to discuss "measures to ensure the safety and security of Americans who travel to Mexico, the safety and security of the Mexican community and the case of Felix Batista" when they meet with Mexico's president.
You can sign the petition here.
For more information about the case, you can watch this excerpt from last night's Larry King Live featuring the Batista family.
The Republicants Alternative "Budget": "Old Wine in New Bottles"
Actually no wine, just whine, and no bottles whatsoever:
If I Had My Own Talk Show, I'd Make This Dude My Sidekick
(The fun starts about 19 sec. in)
(h/t List of the Day)
March 25, 2009
Spike Jonze + Dave Eggers + James Gandolfini + Catherine Keener + Arcade Fire + My Favorite Childhood Book =
Heaven? or Massive Disappointment? Well, the trailer certainly doesn't disappoint:
Please Spike. Don't mess this up.
Krup Hearts WFMU's Beware of the Blog
This group blog, run by the best free-form radio station in the world, is one of my daily must-go-to-there destinations. Why? Well, for example, today there's an entire post (with free mp3s) about "eefing":
Now that's entertainment.
"Because I'm the President, Bitch"
President Obama responds to a "gotcha" question:
Tom Green Takes Care of the I'm Just F'in Sayin' Promise for at Least a Couple of Months
Tom Green spent over 6 minutes spewing obscenities in response to the Fox News idiot who made fun of the Canadian Army (on a show taped a few hours before four Canadians were killed in Afghanistan last week). This is ridiculously not safe for work:
March 24, 2009
OMG, Michelle Bachman is Dumber Than ______ (insert the dumbest thing you can think of)
BACHMANN: What provision in the Constitution could you point to to give authority for the actions that have been taken by the Treasury since March of '08?
GEITHNER: Oh, well, the -- the Congress legislated in the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act a range of very important new authorities.
BACHMANN: Sir, in the Constitution. What -- what in the Constitution could you point to to -- to give authority to the Treasury for the extraordinary actions that have been taken?
GEITHNER: Every action that the Treasury and the Fed and the FDIC is -- is -- has been using authority granted by this body -- by this body, the Congress.
BACHMANN: And by -- in the Constitution, what could you point to?
GEITHNER: Under the laws of the land, of course.
Acceptable answers include: A box of rocks, Twitter, Audrina Patridge and the drunk guy trying to rob a liquor store.
BTW: This is the same woman who, when asked about the White House-backed cap-and-trade proposal to reduce carbon emissions, said:
"I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us 'having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,' and the people -- we the people -- are going to have to fight back hard if we're not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States."
I have to get my brother and his family out of Minnesota.
If You Only Have Time For One Drunk Guy Trying To Rob A Liquor Store Video Today
...this is the one to watch:
March 23, 2009
WTF?!?! (Part 2)
Hang in there until the 1:08 mark.
(once again, blame You ruddy guys)
(via You ruddy guys)
The 4-Chord Secret to Some of the Worst Songs Ever Written
(with the exception of Fall at Your Feet and With or Without You. Okay, and Let It Be, I guess):
(Warning: Contains one song that keeps the I'm Just F'in Sayin' Promise alive. Also contains a ton of songs that will make your teeth hurt.)
h/t List of the Day.
March 21, 2009
A Promise Is A Promise
Here it is, your weekly dose of F-Bombs, courtesy of the lovely and talented Lily Allen and those creepy Cadbury Kids:
March 20, 2009
...and it snowed today in NYC. So, have a video:
PJ Harvey & John Parish's new album (A Woman A Man Walked By) received some lousy reviews so, for the first time in my life, I avoided buying a PollyJean-related project. But this video is giving me second thoughts. I think I should have gone with my first instinct (don't trust music critics).
Journey to the Twittersphere
The fact that John McCain twitters should've been the nail in Twitters' coffin but the media just can't seem to get enough of people who "twat". Perhaps this cartoon will bring people to their senses:
More Super News can be found here
The Rude Pundit Should Write for Obama
He just described Sarah Palin as "Forrest Gump without the skills."
Our "Liberal" Media
Two months! The guy's been President for two months! And he's done more good than Preznit Chimpy did in 8 years. How can any of the people in this video consider themselves journalists? Sheesh...
Sweded* Movies in One Minute/One Take
*Sweded: "The summarized recreation of popular pop-culture films using limited budgets and a camcorder. The process is called sweding. Upon completion the film has been Sweded. "
Meanwhile, on some other talk show...
The non-musical Boss paid an unprecedented visit to The Tonight Show:
Of course, the internets only want to talk about Obama's "Special Olympics" gaffe. Chill out people. Like you've never made an "inappropriate" comment in your lifetime.
Oh, and our President also sent a message to Iran. I like:
Now, if he would only fire Geithner.
I'm not sure who was more nervous during the interview:
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||M - Th 11p / 10c|
|Bruce Springsteen - Interview|
...and you think they could have at least dressed the set to make it more appropriate for Bruce's somber performance:
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||M - Th 11p / 10c|
|Bruce Springsteen - Working on a Dream|
Still, as a Bruce fan, I thought it was some good TV. Possibly the first talk show interview The Boss has ever done? Is that possible?
Sarah Palin: The Stimulus Impaler
Gov. Palin has decided to reject over 30% of Alaska's stimulus bill ($288 million out of $930.7 million), stating, "We are not requesting funds intended to just grow government...In essence we say no to operating funds for more positions in government."
So what exactly is the future of the Republican Party rejecting?
The biggest single chunk of money that Palin is turning down is about $170 million for education, including money that would go for programs to help economically disadvantaged and special needs students...(In addition) Palin is turning down money for weatherization, energy efficiency grants, immunizations, air quality grants, emergency food assistance, homeless grants, senior meals, child care development grants, nutrition programs, homeless grants, arts, unemployment services, air quality, justice assistance grants and other programs.Gosh, she sure is one compassionate deciderer.
March 19, 2009
Sarah Silverman Defines Secular Jews and Divas...Charms the World
The only highlight from last week's Real Time . Sorry, but Bill Maher just ain't that funny. Fortunately, Sarah Silverman is:
March 18, 2009
And a built-in head wind:
(via Everything is Terrible)
Wish I Had Written That
The Rude Pundit on the outrage over the AIG bonuses:
"Really? Is this really the straw that snapped that fucker's spine? After all this time, after billions of dollars simply tossed into the ether over in Iraq, after paying Dick Cheney's cronies at Halliburton billions in no-bid contracts, after KBR overcharged the US government hundreds of millions for its "services" in Iraq (and after it was given a $70 million bonus while it was under investigation by the Justice Department in 2005), after money wasted hand over fist, bad over good, endlessly, it's this? AIG giving out about a tenth of a percent of its bailout money to top executives is what's gonna finally make Americans go nutzoid? Goddamn, we're adorable."Plus, Republicans are so mad, they're "teabagging" the White House:
Please don't make me link to the definition of "dirty sanchez."
March 17, 2009
Tom Cruise Does Not Like Poking
March 13, 2009
Jon Stewart took on Jim Cramer last night. Their was no contest. Sample Stewart:
"I understand you want to make finance entertaining. But it's not a fucking game...And I -- when I watch that, I get, I can't tell you how angry that makes me. Because what it says to me is that you all know. You all know what's going on. You can draw a straight line from those shenanigans to the stuff that was being pulled at Bear and at AIG and all this derivative market stuff that is this weird Wall Street side bet... Listen, you knew what the banks were doing and yet were touting it for months and months. The entire network was. And so now to pretend this was some crazy once-in-a-lifetime tsunami that no one could have seen coming is disingenuous at best and criminal at worst."Here's the entire, uncensored interview:
Jon Stewart. Fake Journalist. Doing the Job of "Real" Journalists.
March 12, 2009
Could You Imagine Living Downstairs From This Girl?
And I thought only the Japanese did stuff like this...
March 11, 2009
Chris Matthews Tears Ari Fleischer A Ginormous New One
And it's extremely entertaining to watch a total douchebag (Fleischer) get served by an obnoxious, loud-mouthed news entertainer (the other douchebag):
Gee, do you think Fleischer has mommy and daddy issues?
In case you don't want to watch the whole thing, here's Ari's spectacularly defensive (and wrongheaded) money quote:
"After September 11th having been hit once how could we take a chance that Saddam might strike again? And that's the threat that has been removed and I think we are all safer with that threat removed."
More Republican Spokesidiots Like This, Please
Victoria Jackson was never funny on Saturday Night Live. However, I think she's now found the perfect venue for her unique brand of "comedy":
The person who posted this video on YouTube actually wrote this in his description:
"Don't let the schtick fool you, this woman is smart."
The Promise Continues...
March 10, 2009
Rush's Words, Other People's Mouths.
(from the folks at The Full Ginsburg)
March 09, 2009
Best Use of "In the Air Tonight" Ever
Keepin' the I'm Just F'in Sayin' Promise
Kids say the darndest things...
It's funny 'cause it's true...
March 05, 2009
Everything You Need To Know About The Total Losers On CNBC
March 04, 2009
Like Shooting a Fat, Thrice-Divorced Drug Addict in a Barrel
March 02, 2009
Barbara Walters Continues To Ask The Really Important Questions
You've Been "Big Butt-Rolled"
(h/t List of the Day)
They Gotta Develop This For The iPhone
(Click to start rocking out, qwerty-style)
(h/t WFMU's Beware of the Blog)