January 31, 2007
Hello, My Name is Wahoo and I'm a Milk-Bone Addict
Brian, our most-excellent dog walker, left us with some drawings recently. Here is Wahoo, cravenly awaiting his afternoon biscuit:
Toast the Wonder Dog is just as addicted as Wahoo when it comes to
January 29, 2007
Stop the Escalation
January 27, 2007
“It’s like we never learn from the past."
- Larry Stark, 71, a retired Navy officer who fought in Vietnam for five years and was a prisoner of war during that conflict.Stark made this unintentionally ironic remark to counter the estimated "tens of thousands" of war protestors in Washington, D.C. today. Here's what Larry thinks we should have learned:
“We never lost a battle in Vietnam but we lost the war, and the same is going to be true in Iraq if these protesters have their way.”Right Larry. If it wasn't for those damn, dirty hippie Vietnam War protestors we clearly would have won that historic blunder.
And Larry, don't get me wrong -- I truly appreciate your service to our country and all you must have lived through. I'm just sorry it was all for nothing.
Motorhead & John Mayer Want to Turn You Into a Gay!
Check out this list of "gay" bands to "watch out for" from Love God's Way ministries which warns, "One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their children's listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3 piracy":
The Spores (endorse suicide)(Who knew children should be protected from Clay Aiken for reasons other than the fact that his music sucks?)
The String Cheese Incident
Eagles of Death Metal
Tegan and Sara
The Grateful Dead (AIDS)
The Magnetic Fields
The Pet Shop Boys
The Village People
The Secret Handshake
The Rolling Stones
Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Man or Astroman
George Michael (texan)
The Indigo Girls
Ted Nugent (loincloth)
Thirty Seconds to Mars
Corinne Bailey Rae
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Panic at the Disco
Elton John(really gay)
Love God's Way's "exciting young Pastor" wants you to let him know if other acts out there are either Gay or making people Gay. Please, e-mail him at email@example.com.
January 26, 2007
And Now a Word from Our Sponsor
January 25, 2007
SOTU: "Everyone Deserves a 7th Chance"
January 23, 2007
Now That's Entertainment:
January 21, 2007
Run, Don't Walk, Pt. 2:
(Click to watch the trailer)
Directed by Alfonso Cuarón (who also directed Y tu mamá también and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and co-produced the amazing Pan's Labyrinth), this film is unsettling yet funny, bleak yet optimistic. Don't miss it.
Happy National Sanctity of Human Life Day!
Too bad there are 25 fewer American soldiers who are alive to "enjoy" it.
For more on today's White House-sanctioned piece of hypocrisy, go here.
Alas, I Did Not Get This For My Birthday
(but thanks to everyone who made the big day special)
For more info on Smack the Lion, go here.
January 19, 2007
Happy, Happy Birthday To Me, Happy Birthday To Me...hmmmn*
A number of years ago, my brothers and I converted all of our Dad's 8mm home movies for his 75th birthday. I spent hours, lovingly scoring every second of footage with what I thought was appropriate music for the eventual transfer to DVD. As you are about to see and hear, things got a little weird when I got to the birthday section. It's my little gift to you on my __th birthday:
(Click to Play)
*The Residents, "Birthday Boy" from Duck Stab (1977):
Bulging eyes abound about
The birthday boy today;
Screaming, "Creaming eyes!"
His mother looked away.
"Creaming eyes explode upon
An apple pirate toad
And if an injun ate a plate
I'd laugh and live abode."
Nervousness itself was shifting
Guests against the door,
"Forgive us dear, but, uh, baking beer
Is what we should be near."
"Bye," the bothered birthday boy said,
"Bye," the bothered birthday boy said,
"Bye or sell or bye,
Bye or sell or bye."
"Happy, happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me he-he-hee,
Happy birthday to me."
January 18, 2007
Cracked (yes, Cracked) Picks the 20 Worst Rhymes in Pop Music History
Here's one of my faves (complete with Cracked's commentary):
13. Steely Dan, "Josie"
“Jo would you love to scrapple
She'll never say no
Shine up the battle apple”
Would Josie like a glass of Snapple, perhapple?
For more, go here.
Star Trek: Through the Looking Glass
(Remember...Feed Your Head.)
January 17, 2007
How Low Can They Go?
Whitehouse spokesman Tony Snow on the Senate resolution opposing
President Bush's "war plan" on Iraq:
"What message does Congress intend to give? And who does it think the audience is? Is the audience merely the president? Is it the voting American public or, in an age of instant communication, is it also al-Qaida?"This administration disgusts me.
He Was For Warrantless Wiretaps Before He Was Against It
President George W. Bush has decided not to reauthorize the controversial domestic warrantless surveillance program for terrorism suspects and to put it under the authority of a secret special court, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said on Wednesday.Why this sudden need NOT to break the law and piss all over the Constitution?
"The president has determined not to reauthorize the Terrorist Surveillance Program when the current authorization expires," Gonzales wrote in a letter to Senate leaders.
"Any electronic surveillance that was occurring as part of the Terrorist Surveillance Program will now be conducted subject to the approval of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court," Gonzales said.
January 16, 2007
James Brown Blows Your Mind
January 15, 2007
He's Blessed. He Has a Pretty Thick Hide. And He's Completely Clueless.
(Click to watch "The Decider" on 60 Minutes)
And, if he's not really clueless then he's an evil, pathological liar. Either way, he should be removed. Just sayin'...
What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.
"I want to say one other challenge that we face is simply that we must find an alternative to war and bloodshed. Anyone who feels, and there are still a lot of people who feel that way, that war can solve the social problems facing mankind is sleeping through a great revolution. President Kennedy said on one occasion, "Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind." The world must hear this. I pray to God that America will hear this before it is too late, because today we’re fighting a war.Feel free to substitute Iraq for Vietnam.
I am convinced that it is one of the most unjust wars that has ever been fought in the history of the world. Our involvement in the war in Vietnam has torn up the Geneva Accord. It has strengthened the military-industrial complex; it has strengthened the forces of reaction in our nation. It has put us against the self-determination of a vast majority of the Vietnamese people, and put us in the position of protecting a corrupt regime that is stacked against the poor.
It has played havoc with our domestic destinies. This day we are spending five hundred thousand dollars to kill every Vietcong soldier. Every time we kill one we spend about five hundred thousand dollars while we spend only fifty-three dollars a year for every person characterized as poverty-stricken in the so-called poverty program, which is not even a good skirmish against poverty.
Not only that, it has put us in a position of appearing to the world as an arrogant nation. And here we are ten thousand miles away from home fighting for the so-called freedom of the Vietnamese people when we have not even put our own house in order. And we force young black men and young white men to fight and kill in brutal solidarity. Yet when they come back home that can’t hardly live on the same block together.
The judgment of God is upon us today. And we could go right down the line and see that something must be done—and something must be done quickly. We have alienated ourselves from other nations so we end up morally and politically isolated in the world. There is not a single major ally of the United States of America that would dare send a troop to Vietnam, and so the only friends that we have now are a few client-nations like Taiwan, Thailand, South Korea, and a few others.
This is where we are. "Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind," and the best way to start is to put an end to war in Vietnam, because if it continues, we will inevitably come to the point of confronting China which could lead the whole world to nuclear annihilation.
It is no longer a choice, my friends, between violence and nonviolence. It is either nonviolence or nonexistence. And the alternative to disarmament, the alternative to a greater suspension of nuclear tests, the alternative to strengthening the United Nations and thereby disarming the whole world, may well be a civilization plunged into the abyss of annihilation, and our earthly habitat would be transformed into an inferno that even the mind of Dante could not imagine."- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
January 12, 2007
68% of the Country Disapproves of You
And 70% of the country opposes sending more American troops to their deaths in Iraq. You truly are the worst president ever. Congrats!
"Mr. Bush, the question is no longer 'what are you thinking' but 'are you thinking at all?'"
January 11, 2007
Quote of the Year (and it's early)
"I think this speech given last night by this president represents the most dangerous foreign policy blunder in this country since Vietnam, if it's carried out."- (Republican) Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska
What did he expect? The President is a freakin' chimp:
(Image made possible by The Face Transformer)
A Look Backward at Our Backward President
(from the Marine Corps Times)
January 09, 2007
Run, Don't Walk:
Not for the squeamish. In fact, it was one of the most violent films I've ever seen. Yet it was extremely beautiful and moving. See it in a theatre.
January 08, 2007
Iraq: The Fully Loaded
Citrus Soda War!
Bush, ignoring EVERYBODY except, I guess, "God" and Barney, wants to make his pet war even more extreme:
President George W. Bush told U.S. lawmakers on Monday he has decided to send about 20,000 more troops to Iraq in a plan to be announced on Wednesday that Democrats denounced as an escalation of the war.We must stop this madman. Thankfully, our new Democratic majority is hinting to do just so.
The White House said Bush would address Americans on his long-delayed new Iraq plan on Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST.
Oregon Republican Sen. Gordon Smith, who a month ago said he could no longer support the war, was among senators who attended a White House meeting to discuss the president's emerging strategy for Iraq.
"It was clear to me that a decision has been made for a surge of, I suppose, 20,000 additional troops," Smith told reporters in a conference call after the meeting.
You Go Away For a Week and You Miss All Kinds of Sh*t
This is better than the Saddam snuff film:
James Brown's not-quite-wife speaks!
I've been back since last Friday afternoon but a week away from a computer has dulled the blogging impulse*. I'm sure I'll have something droll and witty for you within the week. In the meantime, enjoy this sunset from my vacation:
*It must be noted, that my impulse to begin blogging in the first place was brought on by the indispensable "Tom Tomorrow" and his blog This Modern World. "Tom" is probably the best political cartoonist in the land yet that doesn't seem to stop newspapers from dropping him. The latest bunch of idiots are the new publishers of The Village Voice. You can let them know how you feel and sign a petition to get them to save "Tom Tomorrow" here.