June 21, 2006

Whiffle Ball Tony


As we all (sort of) know, Americans underwhelmingly reelected George W. Bush because he seemed like the kind of guy you'd want to have a beer with (John Kerry, of course, being the kind of guy you'd want to have wine and cheese with -- and that would be bad 'cause wine and cheese come from France).

Recently, Digby and James Wolcott tried to explain the even more puzzling phenomenom of the "Man-Dude Love" Bush elicits from grown men. Digby:
"Perhaps someone can explain to me the strange male attraction to George W. Bush. I have never encountered anything quite like it. From day one, DC nerds like (Joe) Klein have had massive man-crushes on Junior, describing him as "loose-hipped" and "swaggering" and showing all manner of strange obsession with his masculine body language. Klein seems to barely be able to contain his squeal as he writes about Bush’s "strut" and his "full jaunty" (which sounds suspiciously like "full monty" — giving full rise, as it were, to speculation about what Klein was thinking about when he came up with it.) But, can someone please tell me what in the hell he’s talking about when says that Bush was "downright frothy?" What in god’s name was Klein doing while he wrote this column? (Don’t go there…)"
It occurred to me reading Digby's post that when it comes to Bush, Joe Klein has a hammy bit of George Costanza in him. You may recall the episode where George got a guy crush on Tony, Elaine's hunky dude of a boyfriend (played by Dan Cortese). George was so enthused that he began modeling himself on Tony, turning his baseball cap around and repeating Tony's catchphrases...

George Bush is Joe Klein's Tony. He's Chris Matthews' Tony too, depending on the lunar phases. He's the Tony for a lot of the Beltway pundits, which is why they're so relieved when Bush regains his swivel hips and starts handing out nicknames like gold stars to the press corps. He's what they would be if only they weren't cursed with so much intellect.
The obvious problem is that Bush is also the country's Tony and 50% of the people back in 2004 neglected to think through the consequences of allowing Tony to continue running things. One person who beautifully understands the consquences is comedian Mike Birbiglia:

Click on his photo and listen to Mike wax comically about Pizza, Bush (a.k.a. Whiffle Ball Tony) and why "we're all gonna die" (and click on the Birbiglia link up above to find out more about Mike).

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