January 18, 2006

 

Whatcha Talkin' 'bout Hillary?




Clinton


(Click to download. "Plantation" comment occurs around 1:35)


It doesn't matter that Newt Gingrich said it (albeit, much cruder):
"Since they think it is their job to run the plantation, it shocks them that I’m actually willing to lead the slave rebellion."
It doesn't matter that plenty of conservatives have written things like it:
(Example) "The Democrats believe that minorities are not smart enough to think for themselves. If minorities are not on the plantation, if they dare to express any thoughts that are not straight Democrat party line, they are savagely attacked by the Democrats."
- Tom Barrett, ordained minister
The fact is that Hillary Clinton, already perhaps the most devisive figure in American politics besides George Bush, has once again proven that she doesn't have the poise, the charisma, the common sense, the je ne sais quoi, if you will, to ever be elected President of the United States. Democrats should just give up on the idea right now. Can't we learn from our past mistakes? I'm talking about John "Reporting for Duty" Kerry:

Kerry


I'm talking about Mike "Wee, look at me, I'm riding in a tank" Dukakis:

Dukakis


I'm talking about, sadly, Howard "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah" Dean:

Dean


So, who does that leave us with? I'd like to say Al Gore, who has certainly found his voice (click the link for the full transcript of his latest speech). But Al has never been able to successfully get his personal je ne sais quoi across to the American people. Instead of the smart, funny, thoughtful man that you see in this Spike Jonze documentary...


Gore


(Click to Watch)


...most people see him as either wonkish, strident or both:

gore


And it certainly doesn't help that the media dug out pictures like this one when they (under) reported Gore's speech on Monday:

Gore


It seems unfair that an idiot like Bush has more or less gotten a free pass from the media for the last six years. But, that's the way things obviously work and since we (the Democrats) don't control anything, we're going to have to become better salespeople. And that means we can't simply settle for candidates like John "The Puppy" Edwards or Joe "Comb Over" Biden.

If you're a Republican, I'm sure this is all very funny. If you're a Democrat, you've got to be thinking, "Unless we find someone who's not an easy target, we're fucked." And, at the very least, you should be saying, "Anyone but Hillary."


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