From The State That Brought You Jesse "The Body" Ventura...

...comes Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey who is running for Governor of Minnesota. Here, in his own words, are portions of his extremely compelling bio:

Honesty is very seldom heard nowadays, especially from a politician. So, I am going to break from political tradition. My name is Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares...

Besides my personal spiritual beliefs, I am a 70% Service-Connected (disabled by the VA) Army Veteran. I suffered severe injuries during a training exercise while on active duty. Between my Active, Reserves, National Guard and IRR duty, I served our country for 9 years through the Army.

Though I have endured 15 knee operations, along with permanent injuries to my lower back, left wrist and right hip, like Sly Stallone’s “Rocky Balboa" I am a fighter. And I will fight for the rights of every Minnesotan, as well as Americans when I become President...

Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am Governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname 'The Impaler' means. Right in front of our State Capital. Then Fed’s can take the terrorist’s body from the impaling stake. If the US Department of Justice (DOJ) wants to charge me with brutally murdering a terrorist, they may do so. I do not see an American Jury convicting me.

In summation, a vote for Jonathon is a vote for a truly Satan-worshipping, Sly Stallone-loving, Terrorist-impaling AMERICA. Or it's a visit from Those Nice Young Men in Their Clean White Coats (Click the link. You'll be glad you did)...