October 31, 2005
Back on the 9th.
Some predictions for while I'm away:
- The White Sox will sweep the Astros and win their first World Series title in 88 years (I know, it sounds implausible but I'm gonna go out on a limb for this one)Let me know how I do...
- President Bush's approval rating will sink to -68%
- Hurley on ABC's LOST will not have dropped a single pound even though it's been two weeks since a new episode aired
- Ann Coulter's head will explode when she tries to wrap her head around the fact that it's her Republican heroes like Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby, not the Democrats, who have been committing treason
- Sean Hannity will make Alan Colmes clean up the mess
- There will be at least 10 more articles written by critics who can't stop wondering, "What the hell happened to Desperate Housewives?"
- Jessica and Nick will break up, get back together and live happily ever after just like the good lord and their publicists meant for them to do
- Judy Miller will call Maureen Dowd a "doody-head"
- I will not win the $165 million Mega Millions drawing on Tuesday
- President Bush's approval rating will sink to -89%
- Someone will foolishly forget to cancel his Times Select subscription before the free trial runs out
- Tom Cruise will, once again, make an ass of himself
- Katies Holmes will stand silently next to him and smile that creepy new smile of hers
- Patick Fitzgerald will continue to kick some serious Washington, D.C. ass...
- Homeland Security will raise the terror threat level to orange
- President Bush will nominate Judge Hatchett for the Supreme Court
- Freddy Ferrer will defeat New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg in a landslide...or maybe not