April 11, 2005

I Dare You To Sit Through The Whole Thing



Ladies and Gentlemen, Dennis Madalone:


(Click at your own peril)

Atrios warns: "if you watch this music video you will be begging people to put a bullet in your head" - but at least there's a 50/50 chance that you'd die laughing. I say this because when I watched it, I alternated between laughing my head off and wanting to throw my computer out the window. What made me laugh? Oh, I don't know...how 'bout for starters Madalone's Jersey hair and distressed jeans. His Christ poses mixed with the cheesey effects were also good for a couple of guffaws. And the song? Funniest fucking thing I've ever heard.

But then came the scene with the young woman, holding a baby and kneeling at the grave of her dead husband who was killed in, one has to assume, the Iraq war. Dennis, in the background, warbles to the grieving widow:
A tree grows high, a leaf will fall.
Whispers of love, I hear his call:
"You must be strong, your chin up high.
Yes I still live, I did not die.
I had to go but it's okay,
You see I'm with you in a different way."
Thanks Dennis, that's comforting. I was wondering how Dennis knew all this about a complete stranger's husband. Did Dennis serve in the war? Or does he have some sort of divine connection? All I could find out about him is that he's a true renaissance man: A high school pole vault champion from South Plainfield, New Jersey ("remembered by his classmates as the 'class clown'"), who moved out to L.A. where he became a stunt man and eventually a stunt coordinator, most notably for Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager (according to his website "Madalone is also featured on the Star Trek Trading Card, which in the trading card world is a high honor, and a valuable collectable"). Oh, and he's sometimes credited as:
'Dangerous' Dennis Madalone
Dennis "Danger" Madalone
Dennis 'Danger' Madalone
Dennis Danger Madalone
Dennis Madilone
Dennis Madolone
Couldn't find anything about his abilitiy to communicate with the dead. Nor did he ever use his fearless stunt man skills to serve his country. Apparently, he prefers "pretend" danger.

And now he wants us all to feel better about Americans dying (1547 in the Iraq war, so far!) for an unjustified, unnecessary war. And, if we don't "Stand As One" and support our country's terrible decisions, I guess that means that Dennis thinks we hate that poor widow's dead (but still alive "in a different way") husband.

Bite me, Dennis.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nicely done.

Anonymous said...

You have to see the "America Fuck Yeah!" remix.

lurkio said...

Surely, this guy can't be serious.
He's the new Weird Al Yankovic.
Either that or Ted Nugent Jr.

Anonymous said...

Did the Bush administration pay for this video like they paid for those "News Reports" on their No Child Left Behind program?

Alec Rawls said...

Cynicism is the stupidest of all cognitive styles. The pretense of sophistication, looking for every pusillanimous opportunity NOT to understand.

If you can't understand the song, fuck you, it just makes you a moron. The pretense that you can seriously quibble with a soldier's spirit saying "its all-right" on the grounds that, well, no its not really alright, is beyond asinine. He's ALREADY DEAD. There is nothing else for an ALREADY DEAD person to say to his widow but "its all-right." But you REFUSE to understand the obvious because it is expressed by the "other side."

To justify this intentional stupidity, you link more stupidity. The war was "unnecessary." Hey, look at this straw we can grasp at over here, fellow leftists! We didn't have to go to war! There was still a way we could have accommodated the mass murderer in power and forestalled the advance of liberty in the Islamic world, maybe forever! How corrupt of us to have turned down such a sterling offer.

You leftists are so sick and so stupid it just boggles the mind, and all justified by what? Anti-religious bigotry? And you aren't even one of the bad ones!

You are obviously putting effort in. Why don't you put it into trying to think straight, instead of trying to misunderstand everything that doesn’t justify your presumptions. If you think backwards like that, if instead of following reason and evidence you pick and choose what supports your presumptions, there is not a chance in Hell that your presumptions will ever be right, because they are divorced from reality.

Blue state bigots. What a pestilence.