March 10, 2005
Try to catch tonight's repeat of last night's The Daily Show (11:30p, est). Bruce Willis was the guest and he appeared just a tad (well, actually very) wasted. He told Jon that he was wearing the same clothes as he was the night before and that there apparently were some "missing hours" (Stewart reminded the audience that The Daily Show tapes around 6:30p...that's quite a few hours to have missed).
Personally, I think it's great that Willis made absolutely no effort to hide his condition. Instead, he acted like a real celebrity. I mean, c'mon, let's face it: Any actor who says their job is hard work is completely full of it. Working in a coal mine is hard work; putting out fires is hard work; brain surgery is hard work; fighting an unnecessary war in Iraq is hard work. Acting, on the other hand, is playing dress up. And if you're one of the lucky ones (like Willis), you get paid a ridiculous amount of money to put on other people's clothes. As an added bonus, you have a huge amount of idle time to spend that money and get extremely wasted.
Unfortunately, there’s a real “ewwwww” factor to this tale of celebrity debauchery. It seems Bruce is taking a page from his ex-wife in the cradle-robbing department. According to Defamer, Willis’ missing hours were at least partially spent with Lindsay Lohan:
Action hero Bruce Willis got some action of a different kind after the screening of his new blood-and-guts flick, “Hostage.” At an after-after-party at the Peninsula Hotel early yesterday, Willis, who turns 50 this month, and teen queen Lindsay Lohan, 18, enjoyed a mutual gropefest. “At one point, Bruce had Lindsay’s pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said ‘La Bella Vista’* (The Beautiful View) on her right cheek,” says our spywitness. Eventually, Willis and a few friends, including Lohan, took the party upstairs to his suite.Like I said: Being a tattoo artist is hard work; being an actor is playtime...
We hardly need to tell you that Lohan is 18 and Willis somewhere around 68. Things really cooled down, however, once the party moved to Willis’ room, and Lohan’s troubled relationship with her father surfaced at an inopportune moment. Just as Willis was about to get a good look at the tattoo, Lohan whispered, “You know what would be hot? If you stalked me with a reality TV crew, tried to get some of my money, and then crashed your car into a pole.”
[*”La Bella Vista”? That tattoo artists must’ve had a really hard time trying to salvage something from “Wilmer 4 Eva.”]