January 14, 2005


America's Future Rocks Today...

...or One Night in HELL:
The talent lineup for President Bush's upcoming inaugural bash is missing one American Badass--and we ain't talking Hilary Duff.

As expected, Kid Rock didn't make the cut when the roster of celebrities and performers was unveiled Thursday.

America's Future Rocks Today...the Jan. 18 concert, hosted by Bush twins, and alleged Rock fans, Jenna and Barbara...will now feature a decidedly more wholesome lineup of singers, including teen queen Duff, up-and-comer JoJo, Gloria Estefan, 3 Doors Down and 2003 American Idol champ Ruben Studdard. The two-hour event, held at D.C. Armory Stadium Complex, will also feature video clips and "guest speakers" (Mom and Dad perhaps?).
I bet Jen & Barb are bummed they won't be able to do jello shots with the man who penned these sensitive lyrics:
"Pimp of the Nation, I could be it/As a matter of a fact, I foresee it/But only pimpin' hoes with the big tush/While you be left pimpin' Barbara Bush."

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