December 19, 2004

It's O.K. to Say Merry Festivus


Bill O'Reilly is freaked-out, FREAKED-OUT I tell you, that people (ie: Jews) are trying to destroy Christmas:
Once again, Christmas is under siege by the growing forces of secularism in America...Surveys show that more than 90% of Americans celebrate the Federal holiday of Christmas, signed into law by President Grant in 1870. Despite that overwhelming number, the tradition of Christmas in America continues to get hammered.
Poor Christmas! And, apparently, Christmas has been taking a beating for years. Here's Bill in '02:
It's time we all found out just who is being naughty this Christmas season, and I am here to tell you. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has put the fear of Heaven, uh, pardon me, the fear of "a higher power that may or may not exist" into schools and towns all across America. If you get involved with this Christmas thing, the ACLU might sue you. At the South Orange Middle School in New Jersey, a sixth-grade class was all set to see the play "A Christmas Carol," written by that well-known religious zealot Charles Dickens. But according to the Associated Press (AP), school officials canceled an outing to see the play and replaced it with a show called "The Great Railroad Race."

The school's principal, Kirk Smith, told the AP "there is a great sensitivity to putting students in awkward situations." Apparently, some parents complained about "A Christmas Carol" because they thought it had something to do with Christmas, and we can't have that in a public school, can we? Even though Christmas is a federal holiday, we can't really be discussing the meaning of the day because of sensitivity concerns. Is this insane or what?
Yes Bill, I give: It's insane. And thankfully we have the Alliance Defense Fund to take care of that mean old ACLU:

ADF


The ADF is here to let us know that, despite the ACLU, "It's O.K. to Say Merry Christmas" (even though the ACLU never said it wasn't).

But O'Reilly and the ADF may have a bigger problem then the anti-Christmas freaks: The Festivus worshippers:
seinfeld
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had -- but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born : A Festivus for the rest of us!
According to today's New York Times, Festivus is gaining in popularity:
Infused as Festivus is with so much potential meaning, it is not far-fetched to imagine it as a permanent part of the American holiday firmament, said Anthony F. Aveni, a professor of astronomy and anthropology at Colgate and the author of "The Book of the Year: A Brief History of Our Seasonal Holidays" (Oxford University Press, 2002). After all, Halloween used to be an obscure festival observed by few, Kwanzaa was invented by an academic in California in the 1960's, and Hanukkah has been reinvented in modern times to include gift-giving. "Even Christmas comes out of a pagan holiday that happened around the solstice," Professor Aveni said.
I did a Google search of "Festivus" and found 116,000 results, including a Fesitvus blog and a site where you can send your very own Festivus e-cards to O'Reilly and your loved ones:
ecard


I'm telling you, it's a Festivus Miracle!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Every Winger in Nutville liked Christmas a lot
But the Libruls, who lived north of Nutville,
Did NOT!
The Libruls hated Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why.
No one quite knows the reason.
"Some say" that they're traitors, and they'd rather burn flags.
And "some say" that Libruls are communist fags
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Is because Libruls' Bibles are two testaments too small...

-glenstonecottage, 21 dec 2004