Let's Make A Deal

The American Family Association thinks I can't handle hearing the F-word 21 times or watching the re-enacted "graphic violence" in Saving Private Ryan. They also don't want me to buy Protor and Gamble products because P & G advertises on Will and Grace and Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (does anybody even watch that show anymore?). Nor should I go see the film about that "pervert" Kinsey. And, I should be shocked, SHOCKED! at the "moral indifference" of the media's response to Nicollette Sheridan and Terrell Owens' disgraceful attempt at comedy.

So, here's the deal, not only between me and The AFA but all organized religious groups who are scared that I might get damaged by what I choose to watch, listen to or read: I will stay out of your church, temple or mosque and leave you alone to read your quant ancient Bible, Torah or Koran if you learn to respect The First Amendment of our great country's Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

In other words, I won't stick my nose in your business if you stay out of mine. Besides, no serious believer in the Bible, Torah or Koran should be caught dead watching a movie or television show or reading anything other than their good books - that would be tantamount to Idol Worship, wouldn't it? Seriously, don't even think about casting your eyes upon Jude Law, The Sexiest Man Alive: (and, since I believe he's in every single movie being released this year, that means Absolutely No Movies!) And make sure you Throw Away Your TVs, good people! They are the spawn of the devil! But, please - don't just take my heathen word for it, listen to what Cephas Ministry Inc. has to say:

"Can there be any real doubt about this question that television is tool of the devil? Can anyone who loves God and studies their Bible really deny that much harm has resulted from "watching" TV?" "If you call yourself a Christian, how can you just sit back and allow these wicked people to blaspheme God's holy name in your house and not be angered to a point of turning from it? Have you forsaken your first love (Rev. 2:4)? Even using euphemisms are not proper for a Christian. Is it possible to survive without watching TV in our day? Absolutely! Serious Christians have been doing this for a long time. You can too, but you must battle against the devil's subtle temptations of TV viewing. Remember, we are battling for eternity! Your eternal soul and the souls of those around you hang in the balance. If you view the Christian life as anything less than this you have already been lulled to sleep by your enemy, the devil, who is trying to destroy your soul." (from Save Our Children)

Wake up! And leave me the hell alone...