Let The Eagle Soar!

John Ashcroft has resigned. My nipples are hard.


According to Ashcroft,

"the demands of justice are both rewarding and depleting" and that the Justice Department would be well served "by new leadership and fresh inspiration."

Amazing. This might be the first time he's ever told the truth* on record. No, I don't mean this record. Feel free to sing-a-long:

Let the eagle soar,
Like she's never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
"Only god, no other kings."
This country's far too young to die.
We've still got a lot of climbing to do,
And we can make it if we try.
Built by toils and struggles
God has led us through.

Let the eagle soar,
Soar with freedom in her breast
So long as she's appropriately dressed
And not exposing her chest.
As the lands beneath her say
"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away."
But we shall overcome.
We won't let the First Amendment
stand in our way.
O, let the eagle soar,
but the Bill of Rights ignore
'cause we're in a state of war
Yes, let the mighty eagle soar

(additional lyrics courtesy of Toad a la Moad)

*Of course, he couldn't resist lying once more for old time's sake:

In a five-page, handwritten letter, Ashcroft told Bush, "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved."

Uh, right...