Haven't these idiots ever heard of The Internets? No waking up in the middle of the night to wait on long lines; no looking for a goddamned parking space; no unnecessary contact with huddled masses of humanity;
no rude clerks who hate you, their boss and their jobs; no canned Christmas music; no heavy lifting - just simple, quiet, no pressure online shopping with comparable bargains and delivery straight to your door or your recipient's door.
Sorry, but I prefer to spend the day after Thanksgiving nursing my hangover in the privacy of my own home, catching up on my reading and crappy television viewing while eating leftovers that somehow taste oh-so-much better than the night before...and perhaps listening to a little Steely Dan:
When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road
When Black Friday falls you know it's got to be
Don't let it fall on me
When Black Friday comes
I'll fly down to Muswellbrook
Gonna strike all the big red words
From my little black book
Gonna do just what I please
Gonna wear no socks and shoes
With nothing to do but feed
All the kangaroos
When Black Friday comes I'll be on that hill
You know I will
When Black Friday comes
I'm gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it 'til
I satisfy my soul
Gonna let the world pass by me
The Archbishop's gonna sanctify me
And if he don't come across
I'm gonna let it roll
When Black Friday comes
I'm gonna stake my claim
I'll guess I'll change my name - Steely Dan, "Katy Lied" (1975)
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