September 23, 2010

Words of Wisdom from The Rude Pundit, Regarding the Republicants Newest Publicity Stunt: "A Pledge to America"


"Could everyone just stop talking about the current crises in America as being caused by Barack Obama's agenda? Seriously, the right-wing drama queens act as if they've been living under years of oppression and hunger in a Soviet-era dictatorship instead of 19 months under a politically moderate, legally-elected president. We did live under eight years of Bush, though. Speaking of Americans "yearning to be free" and to self-determine shit, the Pledge says, "Whenever the agenda of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to institute a new governing agenda and set a different course." Hey, you know what, Mike Pence and the rest? We did vote to institute a new governing agenda, Obama's. Senate Republicans have prevented its passage. Maybe you could complain if we were, you know, being governed by it. But, fuck it. Why bother to really try Obama's agenda when we can just go back to the one that ass-fucked us in the first place? Kudos, Tea Party."
You can read the rest here.

Fun Fact: The Rude One's last comment is about the GOP cancelling George W. Bush's TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program) even though House leaders John Boehner, Eric Cantor and Pete Sessions all voted for it. What he doesn't mention is that the majority of the TARP funds have been paid back:
Originally expected to cost the U.S. Government $356 billion, the most recent estimates of the cost, as of April 12, 2010, is down to $89 billion, which is 42% less than the taxpayers' cost of the Savings and loan crisis of the late 1980s...Of the $245 billion invested in U.S. banks, over $169 billion has been paid back, including $13.7 billion in dividends, interest and other income, along with $4 billion in warrant proceeds as of April 2010. AIG is considered "on track" to pay back $51 billion from divestitures of two units and another $32 billion in securities.
Now, obviously $89 billion is a lot of dough, but what would have happened had we not bailed out the banks? I'll defer to an expert since I know shit about our crazy financial system:
There is no question that something substantial had to be done when the bottom fell out of the asset-backed securities (ABS) market. It had to be done because the crisis put the safety of deposits at risk. Why? Because Glass-Steagall had been overturned and banks had become traders. Who cares if investment banks, private equity firms, and hedge funds trade and fail? I don’t – caveat emptor – unless bank deposits are put at risk and they were.So protecting depository institutions required propping up AIG and a number of financial institutions because banks trading activities had made these institutions interdependent.
What he said. Sometimes government has to govern.

The Seven Secrets to a Successful Relationship:


According to Cherry Norris The Dating Director, there are seven secrets to a successful relationship (which, because she posted them on the internet, are no longer secrets). This real-life stunt couple obviously have mastered #5 ("Conflict Builds Intimacy"):

Listen to this man...He's 114!


Biggest words of advice? "Be good to everybody. Be kind to them. People should be helping other people. The more you do for other people, the better you're gonna help yourself." Clearly, Walter's a socialist, fascist, communist, just like President Obama.

September 21, 2010

How Do They Do It? Values! Values! Values!


This quote pretty much sums up the way Values Voters "think":
“We are going to have to choose, as a nation, between the homosexual agenda and freedom, because the two cannot coexist.”
- Bryan Fischer, Director of Issue Analysis for Government and Public Policy at the American Family Association at this past weekend's Values Voters Summit

September 20, 2010

OK Go...Sit! Stay! Spin! Heel! Bark!




Not their finest effort (and I sure hope they fix the audio on this) but still pretty great (and I'm a sucker for dogs...duh).

You can buy their album here.

And you can donate to the ASPCA when you buy the video here.

September 15, 2010

Do You Think If Everyone Learned How To Hand Dance, We Could Achieve Peace On Earth?




Yes, I think so.

Jon Stewart Confronts The Poodle



Hot on the heels of his New York Magazine cover story, Jon Stewart interviews Tony Blair in a way that no "legitimate" American journalist would dare (by which I mean, no softballs, no pulling any punches):

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Tony Blair
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party


The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Tony Blair Extended Interview Pt. 1
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party


The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Tony Blair Extended Interview Pt. 2
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

September 09, 2010

And Now, A Republican Rebuttal To President Obama's Economic Policies




More Like This Please


(and if Democrats follow suit, we can win this thing in November)

"That’s why I kept my campaign promise and gave a middle-class tax cut to 95 percent of working Americans. That’s why we passed health insurance reform that stops insurance companies from jacking up your premiums at will or denying coverage because you get sick. That’s why we passed financial reform that will end taxpayer-funded bailouts; reform that will stop credit card companies and mortgage lenders from taking advantage of taxpayers and consumers...There were no new policies from Mr. Boehner. There were no new ideas. There was just the same philosophy that we had already tried during the decade that they were in power — the same philosophy that led to this mess in the first place: Cut more taxes for millionaires and cut more rules for corporations.”
- President Obama in Cleveland yesterday

September 07, 2010

Orwellian Organization of the Millennium: The Dove World Outreach Center


(Pastor Terry Jones of the Dove World Outreach Center Outstanding in His Field of Hatred)

I grew up in a world where "dove" meant peace and "outreach" meant, um outreach. But apparently, words are meaningless these days because Florida's Dove World Outreach Center has organized a "Burn the Quran Day" for September 11th. Obviously, this gesture has greatly contributed to our outreach efforts to create peace in Afghanistan:
Hundreds of Afghans railed against the United States Monday and called for President Barack Obama's death during protests about Dove World Outreach Center's plans to burn the Islamic holy book on Sept. 11.

The crowd in Kabul, numbering as many as 500, chanted "Long live Islam" and "Death to America" as they listened to fiery speeches from members of parliament, provincial council deputies, and Islamic clerics who criticized the U.S. and demanded the withdrawal of foreign troops from the country.
USA! USA! USA!

September 06, 2010

Damn, This Is Catchy




(Original news report, in case you missed it, can be found here)

August 02, 2010

"So long as American corporations keep squeezing their work forces, there can be no real economic recovery."




Bob Herbert writes what should be obvious to everyone but instead has become all muddled thanks to Tea Baggers who simultaneously "think" there's too much government yet "think" the black man who's not really American should be creating jobs; Republicants who blame Obama for the lack of new jobs even though it's mainly because of Repulicants that the stimulus was not as big as it could've been not to mention the fact that they do everything they can to protect and defend American corporations; and the members of the "news" media who desperately want a horserace in November so they can have something to masturbate about:
The treatment of workers by American corporations has been worse — far more treacherous — than most of the population realizes. There was no need for so many men and women to be forced out of their jobs in the downturn known as the great recession.

Many of those workers were cashiered for no reason other than outright greed by corporate managers. And that cruel, irresponsible, shortsighted policy has resulted in widespread human suffering and is doing great harm to the economy.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Andrew Sum, an economics professor and director of the Center for Labor Market Studies at Northeastern University in Boston. “Not only did they throw all these people off the payrolls, they also cut back on the hours of the people who stayed on the job.”

(snip)

In short, the corporations are making out like bandits. Now they’re sitting on mountains of cash and they still are not interested in hiring to any significant degree, or strengthening workers’ paychecks.
Ah, let's hear it for The American Dream.

July 06, 2010

Double Rainbow, All The Way! Oh My God! Oooooohhh Wow! It's Full On! (What Does This Mean?)




The original, in case you missed it:



"It's so beautiful. Oh, and now there's snot all over my hands! Oh my God!"

The lesson: Stay inside everyone. It's dangerous out there (especially when it's pushing 100° like it is here in NYC today).

P.S. - You should see the guy who was crushed by a double rainbow get crushed in a cage fight:



Hungry Bear is a big, sensitive man. And a really shitty cage fighter. But, ladies, he's one fantastic dancer:

June 30, 2010

"Definitive Proof That Cats Don't Give A Shit" *


Click here (and then click the pics on the side bar to embiggen, as they say).

* via The Daily What

June 23, 2010

Say It Ain't sO


Is Oprah rigging her TV show contest against Zach Anner?
"...in the span of an hour around or just before 3pm EDT, the woman who had been trailing Anner for some time, Doctor Phyllis, took the lead. And she did so at what sounds to be an unbelievable rate. The Huffington Post reports an increase of 300,000 votes in 20 minutes. Reddit reports 600,000 in an hour."
People, you know what to do: Click and VOTE for Zach. Again and again and again.

In the meantime, check out Zach's pilot for his travel show, featuring "The Beacon of Fun, The Texas State Capitol":