November 30, 2006

"Love The Troops, Hate The War"*

Except for chuckleheads like these guys:

(...and people in the Middle East don't like us because???)

*I saw this on a button the other night while walking my dogs. The person wearing it seemed surprised when I told her I liked her button. Maybe I shouldn't talk to strangers...

Halfby: Rodeo Machine/Screw the Plan

(Animated white people getting funky, sort of.)

For more info, go to Japanese artist Halfby's Wikipedia page. Good luck...

November 29, 2006

The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Pasta

Thanks to Cute Overload.

Matt & Kim Treat Us To Some Thanksgiving Leftovers

Utterly charming (make sure you stick around for the climax). Here's their website.

George Out-Joey Nichols Himself

via Talking Points Memo and The Washington Post:
At a private reception held at the White House with newly elected lawmakers shortly after the election, Bush asked Webb how his son, a Marine lance corporal serving in Iraq, was doing.

"I'd like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President," Webb responded, echoing a campaign theme.

"That's not what I asked you," Bush said. "How's your boy?"

"That's between me and my boy, Mr. President," Webb said coldly, ending the conversation on the State Floor of the East Wing of the White House.

Webb confessed that he was so angered by this that he was tempted to slug the commander-in-chief, reported the source, but of course didn’t. It’s safe to say, however, that Bush and Webb won’t be taking any overseas trips together anytime soon.
George W. Bush: "What an asshole."

A "Self-Contained Artist"

Tom Waits does The Daily Show.

As I mentioned yesterday, we went to the taping and it was amazing. It was Jon's birthday and he was in a great mood, giddy over the fact that Waits was the guest (only the second time the show has had a musical performance on the show). As you'll hear in Jon's introduction to Tom's song, Jon referred to it has his "moment of zen." Unfortunately, The Daily Show and/or Comedy Central saw to it that the zen-like moment was completely destroyed by cutting off the tail end of the song. To be fair, Tom apparently switched songs after his soundcheck (a director's nightmare, a producer's math problem) but I think Waits chose a more appropriate song, "Day After Tomorrow," for a show that has consistently referred to the war in Iraq as "Messopotamia":
I got your letter today
And I miss you all so much, here
I can't wait to see you all
And I'm counting the days, dear
I still believe that there's gold
At the end of the world
And I'll come home
To Illinois
On the day after tomorrow

It is so hard
And it's cold here
And I'm tired of taking orders
And I miss old Rockford town
Up by the Wisconsin border
But I miss you won't believe
Shoveling snow and raking leaves
And my plane will touch tomorrow
On the day after tomorrow

I close my eyes
Every night
And I dream that I can hold you
They fill us full of lies
Everyone buys
About what it means to be a soldier
I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel
About all the blood that's been spilled
Look out on the street
Get me back home
On the day after tomorrow

You can't deny
The other side
Don't want to die
Any more than we do
What I'm trying to say,
Is don't they pray
To the same God that we do?
Tell me, how does God choose?
Whose prayers does he refuse?
Who turns the wheel?
And who throws the dice
On the day after tomorrow?

I'm not fighting
For justice
I am not fighting
For freedom
I am fighting
For my life
And another day
In the world here
I just do what I've been told
You're just the gravel on the road
And the one's that are lucky
One's come home
On the day after tomorrow

And the summer
It too will fade
And with it comes the winter's frost, dear
And I know we too are made
Of all the things that we have lost here
I'll be twenty-one today
I've been saving all my pay
And my plane will touch down
On the day after tomorrow
And my plane it will touch down
On the day after tomorrow
Honestly, how can you cut a second of that? Couldn't the producers have found something to lose in the show (such as the very long outgoing "Slow News Day" bumper) or asked the network to let them go over by 30-40 seconds? Were they afraid of screwing up people's TIVO recordings? You'd think they'd at least show the whole thing on their website.

Oh well. Tom was still great and The Daily Show still rocks:

November 28, 2006

Tom Waits TV Reminder

Tom is on The Daily Show tonight (I'm on my way to the taping!). In case you missed it, here's Tom performing and talking about razor blades and toilet paper on Letterman last night:

November 23, 2006

Happy Turkey Day!

Believe It or Not: A flock of wild turkeys waited on a station platform yesterday in Ramsey, New Jersey.

November 21, 2006

R.I.P. Bob

Robert Altman, the definitive filmmaker of the '70s (and perhaps the best American director of all time), has died. Do yourself a favor and run, don't walk, to the video store and try to rent M*A*S*H, Brewster McCloud, The Long Goodbye, California Split, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, Nashville, Thieves Like Us, Vincent & Theo, The Player, Short Cuts, Gosford Park -- hell, even Popeye. We'll miss you Mr. Altman...

Oh, and Lindsay, STFU:
"I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

"I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

"If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

"Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

"I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years.

"The point is, he made a difference.

"He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

"So every day when you wake up.

"Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

"The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

"Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.

"Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.

"When we shouldn't..... '

"Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

"If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,


Lindsay Lohan
Well, she's no Jodie Foster (Jodie temporarily quit acting in the '80s to attend Yale where she studied English Literature and graduated magna cum laude).

November 20, 2006

Smoke 'em if you got 'em, Auntie Em

Click to watch The Wizard of (Pink) Floyd and "go feed those hogs before they worry themselves into anemia!"

"Kramer" Loses It

(Click to watch Michael Richards destroy
his already sinking career

I guess we can officially scrap any hope for a Seinfeld reunion...

November 18, 2006

Mystery Solved


A number of weeks ago, my wife* asked me if I had noticed a long, wavering line of thin red/orange paint running along the sidewalk of one of our neighborhood blocks. I hadn't noticed but the next day I looked for it and found it. And then, as the weeks passed, we both began to see it "everywhere" (everywhere to us being about an 8 block radius from our Bowery-area apartment) and the "why" began to nag at us big time.

Finally, thanks to TimeOut New York, we have our answer:
“It” is an art project that gives new meaning to the phrase writ large. Its creator is a street artist who goes by MOMO—an ID you could confirm if you bothered to fly over lower Manhattan, since that intriguing red line spells out his nom de guerre from one side of the island to the next...

He began working on the project over the summer, spray-painting from his bike to create the tag, which starts at Pier 59 on the West Side, then loops through the Meatpacking District, the West Village, the East Village and the LES, before terminating at East River Park near 13th Street. “I wanted to try something truly monumental,” he says, likening the piece not to mere graffiti, but to such classics of Earth art as Robert Smithson’s Spiral Jetty and James Turrell’s Roden Crater. “It’s bigger than either of them,” he points out, only half-serious. He says the tag is already disappearing in spots, which suits him fine. “Eventually it will wear down, but it will become more mythical that way,” he says. “Sort of like Manhattan itself.”
Check it out:

(Click to watch MOMO's movie)

(Click for MOMO's website)

*Note: Those are not my wife's legs pictured above. Trust me, my wife's legs are a helluva lot sexier. Not that it's any of your business.

Continue Watching Demetri Martin's "Clearification"

(Click to watch Demetri's webisodes. You'll be very glad you did.)

And buy his new CD these are jokes here or here.

November 15, 2006

Lasse Gjertsen: Amateur

Truly punk rock, IMHO.
Wikipedia definition: "Punk bands often emulate the simple musical structures and arrangements of 1960s garage rock bands. This emphasis on accessibility exemplified punk's DIY aesthetic, and contrasted with the ostentatious musicianship of many of the mainstream rock bands popular in the years before the advent of punk."

More Lasse here.

November 13, 2006

"Clap Hands"

(Click to play)

Beck on SNL, featuring Joey Waronker (I think) on turkey...

Can You Tell Which One Is The Wax Dummy?

Dummy Dummy

From the Las Vegas Review Journal:
President Bush's wax likeness is taking a thumpin' these days at Madame Tussaud's celebrity waxworks in Las Vegas.

Bush's head suffered about $25,000 in damages when a Madame Tussaud's visitor attacked it the day before last week's elections.

"No one's pushed one over before," said Jack Taylor, spokesman for the tourist attraction.

November 12, 2006

Rummy: A Final Farewell

(Click to watch)

From The Late Show with Craig Ferguson (via onegoodmove).

November 10, 2006

Attention All Promo Producers:

I give you perhaps the best reason why you must NEVER EVER AGAIN produce a promo devoid of any creative ideas other than, "Hey, I was able to get the rights to a "popular" song":

This is as bad as it gets (the promo AND the song). Please, let this be the last one ever made.


Krup, Promo Producer
Rummy Hate

(Courtesy of David Rees/mnftiu)

"Radio is a sound salvation. Radio is cleaning up the nation."


Click the map to find out what kind of crap is on a radio station near you.
"So you had better do as you are told.
You better listen to the radio."
- Elvis Costello, "Radio Radio"

Vote to Impeach


Over at MSNBC. Here are the results as of 3:45p, EST:


And there's more you can do:

(Click for more info, via "Causal" -- see the comments below.)

Donald Rumsfeld's, Alberto Gonzales' and George Tenet's Future?

Rummy Alberto Tenet
"Just days after his resignation, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is about to face more repercussions for his involvement in the troubled wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. New legal documents, to be filed next week with Germany's top prosecutor, will seek a criminal investigation and prosecution of Rumsfeld, along with Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, former CIA director George Tenet and other senior U.S. civilian and military officers, for their alleged roles in abuses committed at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison and at the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba."
As Rummy himself would say, "Oh my goodness gracious."

"I like to eat cheese!"

The Daily Show says goodbye to Donald Rumsfeld:

(Click to watch)

November 09, 2006

Complete Control


(Click to watch The Macaca Man's concession. It's hard to believe anyone ever thought this guy was presidential material.)

I think this turn of events calls for another video:

R.I.P. Ed

60 Minutes correspondent and righteous dude Ed Bradley has died of leukemia at the age of 65. Here's Ed's interview with Bob Dylan:

Jenny Lewis and The Watson Twins

"Rise Up With Your Fists!" with special guest, Sarah Silverman. Hee Haw!!!

Annoy Your Family & Co-Workers!

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Punks!

The Punks
(Click to watch)

Seriously, this is the best video I've seen since OK Go on treadmills...

Silent Comedy

(Click to watch)

November 08, 2006

"whoo! alright - yeah... uh huh"

I've tried to resist gloating today (something which has been made a bit easier because of my hangover) but I do think it's time for at least a little celebration. So, here's The Rapture with "whoo! alright - yeah... uh huh":

(Click to watch)

"We were this close to Jesus coming back!"


Click to watch Colbert channel the disappointment of Republicans across the nation.

See George Lie

(Click to watch)

So Long Don

Don and Saddam
(Click to listen to the Rumsfeld Remix, "The Lights Are Dim")

Courtesy of WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

Slowly But Surely We're Getting Our Country Back

"In a triple setback for conservatives, South Dakotans rejected a law that would have banned virtually all abortions, Arizona became the first state to defeat an amendment to ban gay marriage and Missouri approved a measure backing stem cell research."
Ah, the sweet smell of sanity...

Let the Impeachment and War Criminal Hearings Begin

I'm just sayin'...

November 07, 2006

I Hope This Is Not An Omen For Today's Election Results

Faith Hill prematurely celebrates a CMA victory and then yells the equivalent of WTF -- not unlike many of us in '00 and '04 (except we weren't as embarassing...were we?):


America: The Most Powerful Third World Country in the World

Electronic voting machine problems frazzled voters and election workers in dozens of precincts as the polls opened Tuesday, delaying voters in Indiana and Ohio and leaving some in Florida with little choice but turn to paper ballots instead.

In Cleveland, voters rolled their eyes as poll workers fumbled with new voting machines that they couldn't get to start properly.

"We got five machines — one of them's got to work," said Willette Scullank, a trouble shooter from the Cuyahoga County, Ohio, elections board.

November 05, 2006

How do you say "overexposed" in Kazakh?

Borat joins Beck for a performance of "Nausea" on Letterman.

November 04, 2006

Oh, for Pete's Sake


As much as I'd still like to continue to support Pete Townshend and his music (even though what I have heard so far of The Who's Endless Wire has less than underwhelmed me), Pete's mouth keeps* getting in the fucking way:
You take a song like "Won't Get Fooled Again," which has been rightly fingered now as a reactionary tune written to say, "Listen, I can't cope with the counterculture. I'm twenty-four years old and I've got a baby. Please don't come a-knocking on my door and say, 'The revolutions is happening, Pete, and you've got to lead us.' Go away." When Roger sang it, suddenly it became almost the anthem of the counterculturalists. You say to somebody, "I'm not doing it," and they hear you say, "I'm doing it." Like "I'm not going to tell you that I think President Bush is a bad man." And people go, "Oh, OK, so President Bush is a bad man." Let me tell you again: He fucking is not a fucking bad man, you fucking idiot. And the debates I had backward and forward through Harvey Weinstein with Michalel Moore were beyond belief. He wanted to use my song "Wont Get Fooled Again" (in Fahrenheit 9/11). I said to Harvey, "The guy wants to misuse the misuse of the song." It's not political or partisan or parochial. I do feel like, as an artist and a writer, I float above it all and look down at all you guys running around, and I think, "I don't have the answer, but I can write the theme tune.
I'm sure right-wing producer Jerry Bruckheimer will continue to find a much better way to misuse Pete's songs on C.S.I.-Whatever-the Fuck. As Pete himself says in the interview in regards to touring, "I don't need to play old Who songs. I could sell them to fucking CSI."

(*quotes are from the print version of Rolling Stone)

Irony Lives!

Alton Verm wants his daughter's high school to ban Fahrenheit 451, a book that he hasn't read. However, he did look through it only to find discussions of being drunk, smoking cigarettes, violence, "dirty talk," references to the Bible and using God's name in vain. Oh my!

(Click to watch)

Gorilla Political Marketing

Extremely valuable information on how to clinch the election on Tuesday.

November 01, 2006

"Republicans want to debate straw men because they’re afraid to debate real men"

John Kerry responds to the brouhaha caused by his attempt at a Bush joke:
“If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they’re crazy. This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did.

I’m not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox’s Parkinson’s disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq. It disgusts me that these Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have.

The people who owe our troops an apology are George W. Bush and Dick Cheney who misled America into war and have given us a Katrina foreign policy that has betrayed our ideals, killed and maimed our soldiers, and widened the terrorist threat instead of defeating it. These Republicans are afraid to debate veterans who live and breathe the concerns of our troops, not the empty slogans of an Administration that sent our brave troops to war without body armor.

Bottom line, these Republicans want to debate straw men because they’re afraid to debate real men. And this time it won’t work because we’re going to stay in their face with the truth and deny them even a sliver of light for their distortions. No Democrat will be bullied by an administration that has a cut and run policy in Afghanistan and a stand still and lose strategy in Iraq.”
Here's the "joke" along with an oldie but goodie from Dear Leader:

Obviously, John should leave the jokes to the guy who spells John without an "h" (hint: he's really, really short). And George? He should just fucking resign already.

Here's how The Rude Pundit sees it:
The Republican President of the United States regularly "misspeaks", where he ends up admitting things like that his job is to "catapult the propaganda" about issues and comparing his brush-clearing injuries with those of wounded soldiers when he said, "As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself—not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch," and the mainstream media ignores such statements as minor slips of the tongue, not indicative of the character of the man or the content of his policies, but explodes with massive coverage of a tripped-up joke by Democratic Senator John Kerry, deciding that a decorated war vet must hate the troops for trying to say that the President is a hunched-over baboon.

Is there any crime that can't be deflected, any ethical lapse that can't be denied, any standard to which the Republicans can be held? We're beyond accountability. We're into some bizarro Nixonian region of plausible deniability.